An Unforseen Truth
by Amnesie
Summary: Izzie's pregnant, but all's not what it seems. Pairings: McStizzie with traces of Addex and MerDer
1. One Last Patient

She should have known that there could never be a normal day at Seattle Grace. Just when she was preparing to take off her lab coat and go back to her hotel, relatively unstressed by the day's events, she had to have that last patient; one that would turn the social environment of the hospital upside-down.

And to make things worse, she knew this patient. Well.

"Dr. Montgomery? Do you have a minute?"

The door opened to reveal the speaker of such quiet, hesitant tones. She looked up and found a familiar blonde intern peeking in at her questioningly.

"Sure, Izzie," she sighed. "Come on in."

The younger woman entered and instead of coming to stand near her, in a conversational distance, she plopped down onto the hospital bed in the middle of the room.

"I have a problem."

When women seek out Addison Montgomery for assistance with a problem, it's usually for one reason. But Izzie had sought her out before, for a different more illicit type of quandary, so she didn't jump to conclusions.

"What is it this time, Stevens?"

"I… I… have a problem."

She sighed. For a normally talkative woman, the intern was unusually guarded.

"Is this problem regarding what we talked about before?"

The blonde's eyes locked with hers and she nodded slightly. "Sort of. It's more a consequence of my actions in attempting to deal with that problem."

Addison was lost. "Izzie…"

"I think I'm pregnant."

She nodded. She should have jumped to her first conclusion after all, she realized. But she wasn't one to judge, given the transgressions scarring her own past. However, there was no denying her curiosity in the who the father might be. It just wasn't appropriate to ask.

She quietly collected all of the materials needed to take the intern's blood. Each woman was silent, an underlying tension built by the situation and their detached relationship permeating the room. Stevens observed her every move. Sure she was a doctor, but in this room, she was the patient.

Watching the neonatal doctor begin her procedure, Izzie felt her hesitancy melt away slowly, though the uneasiness of instinctively knowing she was pregnant remained. Usually in moments like these, when the events of life seem overwhelming, she became anxious and overly energized; she rambled uncontrollably and often shed tears. But she felt a sort of bond with the older woman. Perhaps it was the mark of a good doctor or a sign they were to be friends.

"Go ahead. Ask me."

Izzie's words jarred Addison from her thoughts.

"Excuse me? Ask what?"

Stevens smiled briefly. "I know you're curious. You want to know who the father is."

Addison looked away guiltily and nodded slightly.

The younger doctor was about to tell her when there was a knock at the door.

A masculine figure entered, not bothering to wait for permission.

Both women looked over at the doorway to see Mark Sloan entering, an inquisitive look on his face.

Stevens glanced back at the redheaded doctor, attempting a look of innocence.

"I think you and I have something in common…"


	2. Not Quite A Surprise

It's always to shock to hear that your ex-lover is able to move on from you and develop relationships with other people. Especially when your ex is Mark Sloan and you're just heard he's procreating. The thought is rather mind-blowing and, when stuck trapped in a room with the future parents, not one she really wanted to think about.

She stood there watching sizzling glares pass between Sloan and Stevens. She knew it must be obvious why Izzie was there to see her, particularly with the blonde intern perched on the bed usually reserved for patients and the materials needed for a blood test in her own hands.

"Get out." Evidently Izzie didn't appreciate the interruption.

"Stevens, you may not think me the most learned intellectual, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out why my two favorite women are having a confidential meeting with each other. I _am_ a doctor, you know."

Addison didn't really know what to do or say, if anything, so she kept quiet and retreated farther away, allowing their discussion to play out. She worried about Izzie's emotional state, concerned that the callousness Mark was capable of would hurt her, especially considering the shock to his bachelorhood he must be receiving.

And yet, it seemed that she had misjudged the blonde… or underestimated their relationship.

"Mark, please. I promise to talk to you later. I swear I won't run or hide, but I will understand if you do."

With her big, emotive eyes conveying the necessity of giving her a little space, he had no choice but to acquiesce.

"Okay. Fine. But I'm not running and I won't let you. You owe me that much."

At her nod, he consented and began to walk towards her, closing the distance between them. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and a touch of the nose and then left.

With just the two women occupying the room again, Addison felt free to continue what she was doing and to speak her thoughts out loud.

"What did you do to him? I swear I might have seen some considerateness out of Mark Sloan just then."

The intern smiled faintly. "A night of bourbon, heartbreak, and a hastily made deal is enough to change a person… for better or worse."

While the specifics of the other woman's words were lost on her, the underlying sentiment was not, particularly when paired with that one certain man. It had been a drunken night of sex with him that had changed her life, without a doubt. And while at one time it had seemed for worse, now she couldn't quite say that.

The younger woman seemed to be in tune with what she was thinking and she shifted in her position cautiously before deciding to speak.

"I hope I didn't offend you by coming to see you. I just knew you were the best and that you know the meaning of confidentiality, unlike the rest of the hospital. And with you being with Alex now, at least with you seeming like you're with Alex now- you are with Alex right?- that you wouldn't mind helping. Was I wrong? God I'm going to feel like such an idiot if I was wrong."

Addison couldn't help but laugh. "It's fine, Izzie. Really. And you're right… Karev and I have decided to have a relationship… which I seriously hope I won't regret later on. But I haven't yet and that's a good sign."

She sighed heavily. "Look now you've got me rambling too."

Izzie wanted to let out a giggle, but she had to know it would be appropriate. "So you're sure it's okay to talk about this… Mark thing… with you?"

The older woman nodded solemly and took her time in choosing her next words. "It was a shock, of course. But it actually feels like a signal of closure, final closure, on the long, tormented relationship we had. Knowing he's been able to pick up and go on, releases me." She grinned softly. "Maybe I should thank you."

Stevens beamed, glad that she hadn't made a serious misstep and that she'd gotten a mentor's approval. She had to laugh when she realized just how interconnected she and the other doctor were.

"You know, if you sleep with George you'll have slept with all the men I have here."

Addison grinned, liking the sense of familiarity and camaraderie they were enjoying. It was something that she had been missing in her life since she'd moved to Seattle… since she'd slept with Mark.

"I don't think Alex would like that much. I think he's secretly the possessive type."

Izzie agreed. "True… and it would be a major shock to Callie considering she doesn't even know about.. that one night."

Addison grimaced. "He never told her? Ouch. I feel bad for her."

When Izzie didn't respond, she realized she may have hit a sore spot and decided to turn their conversation back to a lighter subject. Raising an eyebrow, she smirked slyly. "You know… you could sleep with Derek and then you'll have slept with all the men _I've _slept with here."

Stevens let out a loud back of laughter. "McDreamy? Not my type. Besides Meredith would probably beat me up."

The two women looked at each other and knew instantly what was wrong with that statement, which only made them laugh more.

"Okay, maybe she wouldn't be able to hurt me, but she would sic Christina on me and _that's_ a scary thought."

"You've got a point. She scares even me sometimes."

Since Addison had finished drawing the intern's blood, she backed away slowly, becoming the doctor instead of the friend once again. "This test will be done within a few hours. Do you want to get the results or would you like me to get them and come find you?"

Izzie jumped up from the bed and prepared herself for entry back into the hospital's corridors. "I'll get them. Thank you."

Addison consented with a nod. "Sure."

She watched the other woman head to the door and wanted to give her a word of parting advice.

"You know Stevens, it's going to be okay. It may not seem like it, but it will; just like things usually do. I know the pregnancy wasn't expected, if you are pregnant even, but…"

Izzie smiled at her gently, but felt she had to correct one of the woman's assumptions.

"I know I said the pregnancy was a problem and it is, emotionally and physically, but… it wasn't unexpected. It was planned."

And with that she was gone.


	3. Gossip

As she strolled through the courtyard looking for her lunch date, she found it amusing that even though they worked at a hospital, leading lives characterized by chaotic emergencies, most of the doctors still managed to take lunch during the same hour.

Trying to find Alex in the crowded area, she walked past the table Bailey's interns usually occupied and saw that Meredith, Derek, and George had already arrived. While in the past she would have avoided the table like just being within feet of it would give her the black plague, lately she had been sitting with them. But not today. She and Alex had decided that, ironically, the only quiet time they'd probably get together was in the crowded courtyard, so she intended to keep on walking.

"Addison! Not sitting with us today?" She sighed. Leave it to Meredith to hinder her plans. But, secretly, she rather liked the sense of belonging that had been exuding from the group lately and enveloping her.

She stopped and smiled. "No, I've got a lunch date around here… somewhere. But tomorrow."

Meredith accepted her answer with a nod, but Derek pointed behind her and commented with a smile, "Alex is four tables down."

She gave her thanks and turned around, finally realizing where she was headed. As she walked away, she heard Meredith turn the subject to Izzie and was grateful to be leaving.

"I wonder where Izzie is."

George bent his head down and mumbled, "Who knows?"

At that moment Christina rushed over and plopped down into the seat opposite Meredith. "You won't believe what I just heard about Barbie."

Derek smirked. "I'm guessing Dr. Yang knows where she is."

Christina turned to glare at him. "McDreamy! I'm trying to tell my person something."

He shook his head with a grin and motioned that she continue.

"Well I was just running to get some lab results back for this patient I did a totally awesome surgery on, seriously it was incredible, when I saw Blondie walking back and forth in the hallway, muttering to herself. I went up to her, not close enough to be noticeable, of course, in case she wanted some sort of comforting, but she was saying 'Pregnant'."

Meredith gasped and George raised his head, stunned and eyes wide open. Even Derek looked a little staggered. Christina watched their expressions with a smile.

"You know," Meredith began, getting used to the idea, "that explains why I saw her talking privately with Addison earlier."

"And didn't you say you didn't think she had been sleeping in her room lately because she wasn't there in the mornings?"

Meredith nodded in response to Christina's question. "It makes sense. Who's the father?"

Derek had to interject before the conversation got out of hand. "Now that we're in gossip mode, I think I'm going to leave. But, I'll see you later, Mer."

He gave her a quick kiss and got up, stopping to add, "It's not me, so I better not be on the list of suspects."

Meredith grinned and shooed him away. "No, of course not. Now go, this is girl… and George… time."

Christina rolled her eyes at the pair. "Meredith, focus! Father. Who's the father?"

She paused. "Evil Spawn?"

Meredith snapped back into the conversation. "Alex? But he's with Addison."

Christina scowled. "I think you of all people should know that doesn't mean anything."

"Hey!"

"What stage is he in?"

Meredith frowned. "What do you mean?"

Christina sighed. "Well, is he in the 'I am hopelessly in love with Addison Montgomery and only death will stop me' stage or the 'Wow, that other woman is so hot- too bad' stage?"

"I think," Meredith started, "that it's more like the 'There's more than one woman in the universe?' stage."

"Damn."

Meredith looked over at George who had been suspiciously quiet. "What do you think, George?"

He glanced up at her, his face seemingly more pale than normal. "I… I…I don't know. I don't know if I really want to know."

The other two looked at him questioningly, but he decided that he was done with the conversation. He said his goodbyes and walked away. His spirits had dropped, because he thought he knew who the father of Izzie's baby had to be-- and when it came out in the open, it was going to get him in a lot of trouble.

* * *

_I promise in the next chapter we'll get a few answers.. Just had to get this one out of the way! Thanks for reading. :)_


	4. The Terms

_I am updating quickly just so a certain someone will update her own fic. coughcough_

* * *

It had only taken an hour, but she had gotten herself to stop pacing out in the hallway. Now she was in an empty exam room… but at least there she wasn't on the receiving end of strange glances and inquisitive remarks.

Pregnant. As a doctor, she knew with certainty that blood tests don't lie. And, neither does the body. It would be obvious in time. Thinking back to the last time she carried a child within her, she remembered just how much she had ballooned out- and that had been as a much younger, less developed woman. It wasn't something to look forward to. The hormones were worse, though. Grimacing, she realized that those were going to be a pain, especially since she was already notoriously known as the intern who pays too much heed to her feelings.

What had possessed her to do this? Maybe more importantly now that it was too late- what was she going to tell everyone? How long would it be before they all found out?

The door to the exam room flew open and she stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing who had come to find her.

"George…"

He closed the door behind him and turned around. Running his eyes over her, he sighed, the look on his face a mix between anguish and anger. She didn't understand what had brought it on. She knew their relationship had been ripped apart by their one night together, and his subsequent choosing of Callie over her, but they had at least remained civil toward one another lately.

"Izzie." His voice was coarse and low. "Are you… pregnant?"

Astounded that it was public news already, she gasped. She wanted to slap herself, knowing she should've moved to a more private place earlier instead of drawing such attention to herself in the hallway. But now that it was out, recognizing that her secret never had been secret, there was no use in denying it.

When she spoke she quivered with emotion. "Yes, George."

He exhaled deeply. "Oh God. Oh God. What are we going to do?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, curious as to why he thought this was his problem.

"You're not the father, George," she told him plainly.

He glared. "Don't try and lie to me, Izzie. I may not like it right now, but I'll get used to it."

She shook her head, amazed at his audacity. "George, you're not the father. How do you know this is your baby?"

He sent her an irritated look as he started to pace. "Do you not remember that night last month? Because I do. Boy, do I. You obviously have to considering you remembered it all along; I didn't remember it until lunch with Callie's fa- Oh God, Callie. This means I've got to tell her."

He stopped, and looked at her curiously, as if he had just realized her words. "What do you mean 'how do I know if this is my baby'? What am I- Contestant Number One?" The anger in his voice made it grow louder. "How many people have you slept with? Am I actually Number Thirteen?"

She glowered at him, overcome with fury. "You have no right to say those things about me. You know better."

He scoffed. "Evidently not."

"Out!" She grabbed hold of his lab coat while simultaneously opening the door. Putting all of her strength into shoving him out of the room, she closed it behind him afterwards and sank down to the floor in front of it, guarding herself from any further intruders and returning to her contemplative quiet time.

How had her life come down to this? Her best friend accusing her of being a whore, even though it was he who had decided that they shouldn't be together, that he needed to be with his wife. She had been interested in pursuing something with him at that time. In fact, she'd gone so far as to think that perhaps they were meant to be. And, truthfully, she hadn't been able to convince her heart one hundred percent that they weren't.

Which is how she had ended up at Joe's that night. If anyone else that she'd known had been there, anyone more than Mark Sloan that is, the events of that night and the succeeding ones never would have happened. But mysteriously, the Emerald City Bar hadn't attracted the rest of the Seattle Grace gang that evening… just she and McSteamy, which was always an interesting combination. Especially when each was set on getting extremely and utterly smashed.

It had been over two weeks since she had slept with George, but she was still under the illusion that she wanted to be with him. That day had been especially hard, because she had been forced to work with not one, but both of the O'Malley's on an especially trying case, one that had only ended up in death, in failure really. She found it so symbolic of their relationship. He had seemed so enamored with Callie and had scarcely glanced her way. She had always wanted men she couldn't have. Thankfully, she'd thought, what she could have was alcohol.

Sloan had been there in a state of heartbreak as well, surprisingly. He'd finally realized that his chances with Addison were nil after the other woman had approached him earlier in the day with news that she'd broken their deal, whatever it had been, with Alex. Even though Izzie hadn't known what that had meant, she was capable of seeing that it had been of monumental importance to him. Admittedly, by the time that she had even reached the bar that night he had already left sobriety behind and was feeling very talkative.

He'd ordered her to sit next to him, which he'd claimed he could do as her superior (even if that word hadn't come out right). She wasn't in the mood to argue. He'd challenged her to try and catch up to his level of intoxication and she hadn't been in the mood to argue with that either.

She didn't remember if it was between her seventh or eight shot that their deal was made or if it had been the third glass of bourbon that had preceded the start of that conversation.

_

* * *

_

"_You know, Stevens, you're a very attractive woman."_

_She giggled. "Thanks, but I get that all the time. You were attractive until you got drunk."_

_He shook his head with a frown. "It's not a good thing. I'm through with attractive women. They're evil."_

_She mimicked his grimace, attempting to keep a straight face in her laughter-prone state. "Me too. I'm through with them too."_

_He groaned. "We need gin. And whiskey. We haven't had those yet tonight. But not sherry. Addison liked sherry and that means I don't."_

"_Wha.. Would you just tell me why you don't like her anymore?"_

"_Because she's mean. She's a meanie," he said bluntly. "And I loved her which means she didn't love me."_

"_Ohhhhh…." Izzie understood that concept well; not even alcohol could suppress heartbreak. " George doesn't love me. I'm going to end up an old, old maid. A really old maid. With a girl guinea pig. 'Cause every man I know dies or has a freaking wife."_

_She paused. "You don't have a wife, do you?"_

_He shook his head in drunken disgust. "No, haven't you been listening to me? I don't have one, I want one. It was supposed to be Addison. Geeeez, keep up, Stevens."_

_She sighed and attempted to rest her head on his shoulder, though she couldn't quite keep steady._

"_Let's make one of those deals like they do on tv. If you don't get married and I don't get married, we will get married."_

_He took another shot as he considered her idea. "When? I'm not waiting another sixty days. It's so long."_

_Izzie scrunched up her face in temporary confusion and then burst out in a toothy grin. "Five days."_

"_That works."_

_She giggled and yelled over to the bartender, "More, Joe!"_

_The man she'd shouted to came over and plopped two shots in front of them. "Last one, guys."_

_She frowned. "But… Hey, Joe! Will you marry me?"_

_The bartender shook his head. "Sorry, Iz."_

_She watched as he walked away before turning back to her fellow drunk. "Joe won't marry me. I'm still available."_

_Mark nodded, looking deep in thought. He downed his shot before speaking again. "We can have a baby right? 'Cause Addie didn't want one."_

"_Duh," Izzie said before drinking her own. "As long as it goes with my outfit."_

_

* * *

_

She could remember stumbling back to his hotel room, his arm around her shoulders. But, when she awoke the following morning next to him, it had been obvious they hadn't slept together… yet. One would think that after returning to a sober state, their deal would be null and void, but... things sometimes_ do_ happen by plan- even one born of inebriation.


	5. The Question

"You're pregnant."

She groaned and set down the chart she had been trying to study.

"Seriously, is it written all over my face? Did I somehow blackout and have magical elves tattoo it on my forehead?"

Unable to help himself, he grinned at her sarcasm. "Not literally, no. But I know you."

She surveyed his eyes carefully. "Do you?"

All traces of humor left his countenance. He moved closer to her, the distance between them slowly evaporating. He reached out tentatively to brush a piece of hair off of her cheek and his hand lingered on her flushed skin.

"I do. And because I do, Stevens, I can decipher every emotion on that pretty little face. You're worried, naturally. You're fearful of what other people's reactions will be when they find out."

She scoffed. "Too late for that."

He shook his head and continued. "You're anxious, because the future is unknown and you're in a particularly precarious situation. I'm betting that you're a little panicky too simply because it's me that you've gotten yourself entangled with. No, don't bother denying it, Iz. I know my reputation."

He paused, before continuing cautiously. "And maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I think you're a little excited too. You're a nurturer. A born mother… in a sexy way, of course."

He laughed devilishly. "Truthfully, Stevens, you're the kind of girl that can make a bad thing a better one."

She searched his face curiously. "Is that what this is? A bad thing?"

He smiled solemnly, hesitantly. "You tell me."

She sighed. "I'll have to get back to you on that. But I will admit there's this overwhelming part of me that thinks it's a crazy one. That _we're _crazy. I mean, Mark, we were _drunk_."

"Not when it mattered, if you'll remember," he commented with a suggestive grin.

She couldn't help but smile at his intimation. "Right. But can we let a moment of temporary insanity rule our lives from here on out?"

He stepped back from her, struck by her insinuation. Waves of worry cascade over his body and apprehension echoed in his voice . "What are you saying, Izzie?"

She laid a hand on his chest. "I don't know, Mark. But I promise to tell you when I do."

They stood staring at each other, their gazes locked in a mental inquisition. When it was obvious there would be no answers, Sloan consented to her need for time with an almost imperceptible nod before leaving.

* * *

"Izzie!" 

She was suddenly the most popular girl in the hospital. These people worked with babies daily; they needed to get over the fact she was having one too. But, she knew undoubtedly that wasn't going to happen.

She whipped around to address the person who'd dared to address her.

"Yes, Meredith, I am pregnant."

Grey stopped short, surprised that Izzie was being so forthcoming.

"And the fa-"

"Don't want to talk about that one right now."

She groaned. 'Oh, Meredith', she mentally begged, 'don't push this. Be understanding.'

Meredith seemed to have been listening to her thoughts. "Okay. But tell me- are we happy about this?"

She glanced down at her feet as if she'd suddenly find the answer there. But it was to no avail and all she could do was look up and admit the truth.

"I don't know yet."

* * *

There was only one person that she felt she could turn to in order to discuss her situation. Addison Montgomery. She was another woman who'd known pain in the past. She was a woman and she knew Mark Sloan well. Those things, in Izzie's mind, made her suitable to impart sound advice. 

She found the older doctor in the room she had turned into an office, pouring over paperwork.

"Addison? Have a minute?"

Montgomery looked up and beckoned her in with a quick motion of the hand and a smile. "For a woman in your position, Dr. Stevens, I've got quite a few."

Izzie smiled guiltily as she plopped heavily down into a chair opposite the woman's desk. "I do have quite a quandary, don't I? At least it can't be said that I'm predictable."

Her superior laughed. "Congratulations. What can I do for you, Izzie?"

"I need to know if I'm doing the right thing," she answered straightforwardly.

The redhead frowned slightly. "I don't know if I can tell you that, but if you tell me what happened I can try to help you figure it out."

Izzie nodded, settling herself further into her chair in preparation of the long narrative she was about to divulge.

"It was ridiculous," she sighed, "it really was. We were drunk and you know how desperately pathetic people can get when they're under the influence. We decided to get married- Oh God, how wasted must I have been to agree to marry Mark Sloan?- and blah, blah, blah, we decided to have a baby."

Addison's eyes had been wide open and she was struggling to control her expression. "Okay, so it was one night."

"Actually," Izzie began with a cringe, "it, you know _it_, didn't happen that night. The following day, when we had sobered up, well that's a different story…"

* * *

_He tugged on her lab coat and pulled her into the exam room nearest him._

"_So, Stevens, how's the husband hunt going?"_

_She glared up at him, angered by his wicked smirk and the sheer fact that he remembered the night before._

"_It's not."_

_He grinned. "Wow, I didn't think you'd give in so easily. Tell me, was it my devastating looks that made you want my ring on your finger or was it the way my hot, masculine body was pressed against yours this morning?"_

_Her eyes glinted with anger and she poked his chest with her finger. "You and I both know we didn't mean what we said."_

_He captured her hand and flattened the palm of it against his lab coat. "Maybe I did. Maybe I'm desperate for a wife and kiddie of my own."_

"_Whatever."_

"_No, really," he said as he tugged her closer to him, wrapping his free arm around her waist, " I'm not so heartless as to not want that eventually."_

_She glanced up at him curiously. "Really?"_

_He nodded, his disposition suddenly very serious. "Addison… she… aborted my baby. And as much as I hated it after I found out, I get why she did it. I don't blame her so much as I… blame myself. But Stevens," he gripped her even tighter, his intensity increasing exponentially, "I'm a different guy now. Honestly. I want to prove it. I think I've finally got so much to give, but no one willing to take it. I want a baby. Someone who's part of me, who needs me, who can't turn me away."_

_She gazed deeply into his eyes and had to pull back; the fire burning in them was emanating out, warming her face. She knew instantly that the man had never spoken truer words in his life, that he felt them throughout his body, thoroughly saturating it._

_She knew it was reckless. She knew it was impulsive. But at that moment, nothing would have stopped her. She wanted the world for everyone, it was in her nature. He'd filled her senses and the only thing she could do was bob her head up and down._

"_Fine."_

_

* * *

_

Addison cleared her throat uncomfortably, wondering why Izzie had stopped. "There must be more to the story than that."

The blonde smiled faintly. "Yes, but let's save that for another day. There's something I have to do. But thanks for listening. It helped."

Addison nodded and was about to tell the younger woman she was glad to be of assistance, but the intern was already gone.

* * *

He'd been leaving his hotel room door unlocked for her. She'd made it a habit to sneak in every night and curl up next to his warm body as he slept. However, on this night, she could tell even in the darkness that he was awake. She kicked off her shoes and turned on the lamp that sat on the nightstand. He leaned up against his pillow and looked at her expectantly. 

She smiled gently. "It's a good thing."

He didn't say a word; his response was a pat on the side of the bed now informally designated hers. She did as indicated and climbed in to lay beside him. His arm swung protectively around her body, pulling her close. She glanced down at his hand, which covered her stomach and sighed contentedly. Turning the lamp off, she nestled into his masculine form.

In the darkness, he finally spoke.

"A good thing, huh? For you or for me?"

She understood what he was asking, so she ran a comforting hand up and down his arm. He wanted to know if she was doing it for him alone, but she knew she wasn't.

"For us. Both of us."

She could almost feel his smirk. "Does that mean you'll marry me?"

Laughing, she shook her head. "Sorry, not that crazy. And besides, no one other than Addison even knows you're the father. You don't have to worry about doing the so-called 'proper' thing."

When he didn't respond, she considered the matter closed and shut her eyes, never knowing that in his mind it wasn't. But undoubtedly, that was something to be left for another day. This one had been too long and he knew that a girl can only take so many surprises at a time.


	6. Screwed

The Mark Sloan of a year ago would think he had lost his mind. Hell, the Mark Sloan of a month ago would agree with that. But when a man knows something, he just knows. He might question it, but he's gotta go with his gut- and right now it was tell him firmly, in a way that sparked in every nerve of his being, that he wanted- no needed- a family. That's right, a family. A baby to share his experiences with, to guard in a way that he had never been himself. He was a man and men needed to feel wanted; they needed to be able to give to other people. He had a whole lifetime's worth of emotion built up to share with a child. With a woman. With Izzie Stevens.

When he had made that deal in the bar with her, he'd subconsciously wanted it. He hadn't known it until the next morning, though, when he'd woken up to find her sprawled over him, a dribble of drool slowly seeping from her mouth to his arm. With any other woman, he would have been appalled, but with her he'd found it endearing. He saw his reaction for what it was- a wakeup call to the fact the he was in way over his head.

He wanted her; that much was obvious. The one night that they had together, well the one in which they'd had sex, had been passionate and intense, a hot culmination of the desires and yearnings they'd both experienced for each other. He wasn't sure what had made him keep his hotel room door unlocked the next night, probably another gut feeling, but he was relieved he had. She hadn't knocked or called out for him, but had instead hesitantly opened it and headed straight for his bed, for him, as if he was the key to her peace of mind, much like she was for his. He remembered pulling back the cool comforter and sheets to give her entry and the way she'd nestled into him silently, offering no excuses, expecting no questions. It'd been their habit ever since.

What's done is done and he wasn't entirely sure why she'd agreed to his outrageous suggestion, but he wasn't about to turn her loose. Admittedly, he had been using her to get what he wanted, to achieve a feeling he'd never had, but as fate would have it, he'd had to fall in love with her too. Whether it was a sign of good fortune or a nasty trick of providence had yet to be determined, because he couldn't figure her out. Why had she agreed? Would she ever share that with him? Would they share more than a child; a life, perhaps?

Would she ever let other people know that she'd chosen him? They may not be in a relationship, but she _was _carrying his child. No one but Addison knew, though, and she intended to keep it that way. He knew that he should be enjoying his anonymity, the fact that no one was talking about him, but he couldn't deny that it hurt. He loved her, even though she didn't know it, and he already loved their baby; why couldn't that ever be enough? Why couldn't he?

He had to be content now with the silent nights she'd allow him and the days he was blessed to have her assigned to him. Those days secretly thrilled him. He could watch out for her and simply exist in her presence without any suspicion. Days much like this one.

He smiled as he saw her approach with two steaming coffee cups.

"I like this treatment," he commented with a mischievous grin, reaching out to take a cup.

She shoved his at him forcefully and glared. "The only reason I am doing this is because you won't let me do x-rays; you won't let me do anything. It's worse than being your intern in the past."

"Now, Iz. Need I remind you…"

"No," she cut him off grumpily, "I realize I'm pregnant; it's my waist about to balloon if you'll remember. I'm the one who gets to look like a freaking whale and pee every fifteen minutes."

He chuckled. "You love me."

"You wish." She wasn't wrong, he had to admit.

He took a sip out of his Styrofoam cup and pulled back, confusion etched on his face.

"It's hot chocolate," she said, answering his unspoken question. "I've decided that coffee with all its caffeine isn't good for the baby."

He raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you just reminding me that I'm not the pregnant one?"

She scoffed harshly. "Doesn't mean you shouldn't suffer too."

Looking back at his cup, he shrugged and took another sip. He supposed it was the least he could do. Yet, the next moment, he wished he hadn't, because Alex walked by, touching Izzie's arm briefly as he passed.

"Hey, Iz. Joe's tonight. Don't forget."

He could feel himself choking on the smooth liquid chocolate as it slid down his throat. He sputtered a little, drawing Izzie's attention. She gave him a questioning look and he frowned down at her.

"Did Karev miss the memo?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to drink. It may come as a surprise to you, but bars do serve more than alcohol."

His frown deepened. "That's not what I meant."

She looked up at him insolently, expecting him to continue. "I'm waiting."

He groaned, pained that he had to explain it to her, but wholly annoyed that she was meeting some other guy.

"You're pregnant with another man's baby. He… he can't have you."

Her eyes widened in amazement at his audaciousness and he could instantly read the ire in her eyes.

"_I_ can have whomever _I _want."

She glared at him for a few additional seconds to underscore her irritation and then plucked the Styrofoam cup out of his hand. "I need this back. I'm drinking for two."

She walked away, leaving him with one thought- he was screwed.

To make matters worse, though he hadn't thought it possible at that second, he heard the voice of his ex-best friend behind him.

"What was that about?"

He swiveled around to face the other man.

"What did you hear?"

Derek gave him a curious look. "Nothing. I just saw her walk away in a huff and assumed you did something to piss her off."

He waved away the thought as if it was a trivial. "When don't I?"

Shepherd frowned and gave him a disapproving look. "Don't you know she's pregnant? You should really be nicer to her."

A sardonic chuckle burst from his lips. "I know."

And he did- on both counts. He certainly knew she was pregnant and he was becoming increasingly aware that his behavior left a lot to be desired… that _he_ left a lot to be desired.


	7. Committed?

Who did he think he was? Sure, he was the father of her baby, but that was practically no strings attached. They'd agreed to combine their genes, not dedicate their lives to eternal faithfulness to one another. They weren't in love; most of the time they couldn't stand each other.

He had no right to tell her not to see Alex. None at all. She was simply doing something nice for him- giving him a child. That didn't mean that she was going to live her life around Mark Sloan now. She'd done it for herself too. It was convoluted, her reason for doing it, but what else could you expect from such an impulsive action? She'd given up a child before and though she may never speak about her, she still thought about her little girl. She wondered what Hannah looked like at her current age, at her previous ones. Had she had her first kiss? Did she laugh daily? Did she have friends and a caring family? A puppy to call her own?

It was a harsh reality that she didn't know the answers to any of these questions and it left a piece of her heart and a portion of her soul empty. It was horrible, and she was ashamed of it, but she wanted a second chance at being a mother. She needed to try and fill the void that existed within her. Much like him, she desperately yearned for someone who needed her, someone who could love her unconditionally and who she could do so to in return. If every other person around her could have a second chance at… something… why couldn't she? Why couldn't they?

Even though she'd just snapped at him and he was a controlling, wicked ass at times and no tender ardor existed between them, she knew without a doubt that their child wouldn't lack for love; it had two parents who needed it too desperately to fulfill a requirement burned into their souls. That was why she'd agreed to this mad scheme. There was love to be given, but no one to give it to. She just couldn't announce something like that to everyone. She'd be seen as a frail, pathetic, desperate girl. No, it had to stay between them… between her and Mark. It united them in a surreptitious bond. Just thinking about that brought a small smile to her face. She and McSteamy sharing a secret… sharing emotions... Sharing a baby. God, who would have thought?

If only he wasn't such an ass.

Rolling her eyes she started off down the hallway, unmistakably avoiding the plastics division. She quickly found Meredith and Christina hanging out by a nurses' station, checking out all of the incoming cases. Meredith smiled when she saw her.

"Izzie!"

She grinned back, happy to be taking her mind off of a certain male.

"Hey guys."

Christina looked over at her. "The next good case is mine, Barbie. Don't even try it."

She shook her head. "It's okay. My shift ends soon anyway. Gotta meet Alex at Joe's."

"Alex?" That got their attention. The other two exchanged glances before looking back at her. She shook her head again, knowing what they were thinking.

"Don't even start."

Meredith shrugged, prepared to ignore the subject, but then remembered something.

"We're throwing you a baby shower."

She had to raise her eyebrows at this announcement. This was coming from her dark and twisty friend?

Christina added, "Yeah, Meredith here thinks we need to celebrate your brat."

She grinned. "Thanks guys. That's really sweet. But isn't it kinda early?"

The other two looked at each other again, quickly nonverbally discussing something between themselves.

"Well, we could have more than one," Meredith suggested.

"Will there be games? I love games."

Grey looked as if she hadn't expected that one. "Sure, Iz, we can...uh...think of some games."

Christina shook her head. "Actually, we just wanted a reason to get drunk and show you what you're missing out on since you're knocked up."

She couldn't suppress a laugh. That sounded more like the friends she knew and loved.

"Okay," she relented, "invite Addison too. But not Callie. Definitely not Callie."

Christina raised an eyebrow in her direction. "Please, do we look insane to you?"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later she found herself sitting on a bar stool next to Alex inside the Emerald City Bar, sipping a Diet Coke.

A few quiet minutes had passed between them and she had to admit they unnerved her. She didn't know why he'd invited her here. When he did speak, he was hesitant.

"I'm not sure if I should be mentioning this to you, but who else can I really talk to?"

She laid a comforting hand on his arm. "It's okay. Really."

He exhaled deeply and continued. "Something's up with Addison. She's clingier now. Not in a bad way, of course; I really like it actually, but it's an about face. A one-eighty. I know you've spoken to her a lot recently. Do you know what happened? Was it something I did and should continue doing? I'm lost."

Her mind instantaneously flew back to the day she'd learned she was pregnant and her subsequent conversation with Montgomery. She'd been nervous about speaking to the woman about Mark, but everything had been fine. She remembered the older doctor's phrase concerning her past with Mark, her closure with him- knowing about the pregnancy released her. It made her smile furtively to know that it had released her straight into Alex's willing arms.

However, she couldn't betray the woman's confidence and tell him that. So all she said was, "I have an idea. You just need to continue being you, Alex. You're a wonderful guy. And for god's sake, don't let the moment pass you by."

He smiled in return, his face softening. "Thanks, Iz. I guess I just needed some reassurance." He paused. "You know that if you ever want to talk…"

She grinned and nodded her head. "Yeah, I know."

He looked over at her cautiously and cleared his throat. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer."

"Sure."

"George isn't the father, is he? I'd hate to see you with someone who wasn't committed to being with you. You deserve better."

She smiled sensitively and shook her head.

"Don't worry about me, Alex; I'm not alone."

And the thing is, she admitted to herself sincerely, she wasn't. Sloan hadn't left her or sprinted away; he'd stayed close at hand. But commitment? That was a whole different question.

* * *

After a few hours, when she was thoroughly exhausted with Diet Coke, she headed back to the hospital. She would have gone home, but it seemed like such a foreign place to her now. She could have gone to Mark's, but he wasn't there. She didn't want to be there alone. In truth, she wanted to be where he was.

She found him coming out of a patient's room, looking too attractive for such a late hour of the night. He smiled her way and she utterly hated it, but she felt herself grin in return and her bones melt a little inside of her body. Her mind directly flew to the comment Alex had made about commitment, the one that had been reverberating through her mind for hours.

She walked right up to him and he shifted the chart he'd been carrying into one hand, using the other to smooth her hair back.

"I'm sorry about before."

She nodded, quickly accepting as she had other things on her mind.

"It's okay." She paused for a long moment as they stared at one another, drawing up the courage to ask him what had been on her mind. "When you asked me to marry you, were you serious?"

He looked taken back, but quickly recovered his tender expression. "Yes."

She nodded again. "Thanks. That's all I wanted to know."

She started to walk away, causing a look of confusion to wash over his face.

"Was that a yes?" he yelled from where his feet were firmly planted on the floor.

She stopped her retreat from him and turned her head around. "I didn't hear a question!"

She resumed her stroll… simply walking away. He was committed. It had been all she needed to know.


	8. The Shower: Part 1

The following two weeks were hell. Every time she looked in the mirror she could swear that she was showing more. Mark disagreed, but his opinion didn't matter to her. He wasn't seeing her without clothes on, though he tried. Truthfully he was giving it his best shot, laying on the sex appeal and saying that he could give her a straight answer to her constant worry if only he could see her naked. She wasn't buying it. Unfortunately, he wasn't buying her halfhearted denials either. Sleeping at his side was becoming torture, but it was self-inflicted. Working with him daily, as she had somehow begun doing, was pure anguish.

She saw him approaching her with his trademark roguish grin planted on his face. She quickly swiveled around, attempting to appear nonchalant- as if she didn't care that he was captivating and alluring and looked at her like she was on the night's dinner menu as the main course _and_ dessert. The goose bumps that materialized on her bare arms at his close presence gave her away though. He came up behind her, his body gently forcing hers into the desk of the nurses station. She groaned in aggravation. He made her do that increasingly more frequently.

He leaned down to whisper into her ear, the sensation of his hot breath causing her to shiver. "Coming to see me tonight after I get off work?"

She turned around in his arms and shot him a stern look. "You better back away," she whispered fiercely, "or someone's going to suspect something."

He sighed and dropped his arms, stepping back a couple of feet. "Better, Dr. Stevens?"

She shot him a satisfied grin while trying to convince herself that she much preferred the distance between them. "Yes, thank you. And to answer your question, no, I am not. Meredith and Christina are throwing me a baby shower tonight."

He gave her an interested look. "A baby shower? Is that anything like a bachelorette party? With strippers?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No strippers." She paused. "How do you know not know what a baby shower is?"

Motioning with his hand over the length of his body, he gave her a blunt look. "Do I look like the type of guy who's familiar with silly, sentimental, feminine things? Hell no. I think I'm offended."

She shook her head. "No, of course not. You're a big, manly sex machine," she replied dryly.

He sent a wink her way. "That's more like it." He waited a moment before speaking again. "You know, I wouldn't put it past Yang and Grey to hire those strippers."

She smiled slightly at the thought. "Hmm... male strippers. Hot, sweaty, sexy male strippers. Sounds like a good time."

It may have had her grinning, but he was grimacing at the idea. "Maybe I should come. I can delay my surgery."

"Nope, no men allowed." She raised an arched eyebrow at him. "Unless you want to strip…"

He scoffed, his frustration showing. "No, I want to be there to cover your eyes."

Her smile quickly turned devilish. "Mark, you oughta know by now that I'm a grown woman. That means I'm allowed to play with the big boys."

She moved to walk away, touching his arm as she passed. "See you later."

He watched her walk off, knowing that her long legs and the sway of her hips would be tormenting him all night long.

* * *

She walked into Meredith's house, the home she never really used anymore, and was surprised at the appearance of the living room. Streamers were ineffectively tossed over the curtain rods, their ends pooling into piles on the floor. A few balloons bounced overhead against the ceiling. It was obviously an unenthusiastic attempt at decorating, but she loved it. Knowing her friends as she did, this seemingly incomplete attempt meant they had tried. She understood that they just weren't the cheerful type.

Meredith and Christina emerged from the kitchen, having heard her arrival. They carried a multitude of bottles in their arms, most alcoholic, but a few filled with water for Izzie.

She smiled. "Hey Mer. Hey Christina."

"Our guest of honor has finally arrived." Meredith unceremoniously dumped the bottles in her arms onto the couch, while Christina planted hers on the coffee table and opened one.

The doorbell rang and she went over to answer it, leaving the other two to deal with their refreshments.

Opening the large wooden barrier, she saw Addison on the other side.

"Dr. Montgomery!"

The older woman smiled and shook her head. "It's Addison, Izzie. How are you? How are you feeling?"

She stepped back to let the other doctor in. "Great, thank you. It's good to see you."

The redhead walked in, quickly greeting Meredith and Christina. Her eyes ran over the contents of the room, from the feeble decorations to the collections of alcohol now gathered on the table.

"Wow. You can sure tell who decorated this place."

The others grinned at her and they all moved to take places around the table to sit. Addison looked around curiously, as if expecting more guests.

Izzie shook her head in an answer to her unspoken question. "This is all of us today."

Christina snickered. "Yeah, who else would we invite? Syph nurse?"

Meredith smiled impishly. "More alcohol for us."

Montgomery shrugged and handed the bag she had been holding since her arrival over to Izzie.

"Dr. Stevens, I hope you will find this to come in handy."

She nearly squealed with delight. "Presents? I love presents!"

Meredith and Christina quickly glanced at one another, obviously having realized they'd forgotten something. She saw their action and smiled gently. "It's okay, guys. Really. I didn't even expect this party."

Meredith remembered something and quickly hopped up. "We got you something! A cake." She ran into the kitchen and Izzie looked over at Christina.

"You guys didn't try to bake, did you?"

The other woman snorted. "Seriously? No, we got it at the grocery store when we bought all the liquor."

Meredith reappeared, this time with a cake in her arms. She set it down on the table and pulled out four forks from her back pocket.

"Dig in, everybody."

Christina grabbed a utensil and did as told. Izzie and Addison glanced at each other quickly, shrugged, and did likewise.

With her mouth full, Izzie grabbed the present the redhead had brought her and slowly began tearing the paper away. Inside she found a few unisex baby pieces and a gift certificate to the nearest baby specialty store. Not wanting to speak with food in her mouth, she moaned in delight and gratitude.

Addison swallowed her own bite. "You're welcome. It's from Alex and me, by the way. You know, I think he was jealous he couldn't come."

She grinned and nodded her head, remembering Mark's earlier actions. "I told Mar... Dr. Sloan about it earlier and he wanted to come."

The other three looked at her, surprise written all over their faces. "Seriously?"

She laughed. "Wow, nice simultaneousness. No, he only wanted to come because he thought there'd be strippers."

"Oh." They all understood that.

"Pig," Christina muttered.

Meredith looked at her curiously. "Since when did McSteamy become Mark?"

She attempted to fight off the blush that was threatening to stain her face. "Well _I_ am the one who gets stuck with him every day. Process of elimination, you know. You and Derek, Christina and Dr. Burke, Addison and Alex, George and you-know-who… So we talk."

Christina looked like she was going to say something, but Addison quickly cut her off. "He's a good guy when he endeavors to be. But enough about Mark, this is Izzie's party."

She shot the redhead a grateful look, glad to be spared of that conversation. Unfortunately for her, however, they headed straight into another… one Christina and Meredith didn't know was related.

"Izzie, we've been trying not to pry, but we are really curious as to who the baby's father is. Are you sure you can't tell us? We just want to help you."

She sighed heavily. "I'd rather not, Meredith."

Christina piped up. "You can't tell us where you hooked up with him?"

She sent a subtle look in Addison's direction, but the other woman looked a little bewildered as to what to say.

She knew what that was like. Even though she'd had a while to come up with a story, she hadn't. She didn't think she really needed one. But staring directly into the face of the conversation, she regretted that thought.

How was she going to get out of this one?


	9. The Shower: Part 2

Honesty is the best policy. She knew this and realized that she'd be teaching her baby the same value one day. Accordingly, she had better live by it. She decided to be honest… well at least as honest as she could be without divulging names, specifics, or anything else too incriminating or revealing.

Where had she hooked up with her baby's father? Well, she'd met Mark at the hospital and had slept with him in his hotel room, but technically they'd developed a relationship at the Emerald City Bar.

She glanced around the room at her friends and sighed heavily, hating that she was about to do this- both lie to them through omission and give into their incessant questions.

"In a matter of speaking," she started after clearing her throat, "we began seeing each other at Joe's."

Christina sighed impatiently. "We need details, woman."

She frowned slightly. "Well, I was in there having a drink. You guys had already left. He came in and sat beside me. We talked. He asked for my cell phone number and I gave it to him."

So there, she thought to herself triumphantly. That was all true.

Meredith gave her a curious look. "How long did he take to call?"

Addison seemed interested in that answer as well. "That's always a good test."

Christina nodded in agreement. "Yeah, unless you're like Meredith and they get to see your bed, but never your phone number."

Grey shot her a dirty look and turned her attention back to Izzie, waiting for the answer.

She couldn't suppress a smile at the memory the question inspired. "How long did he take to call? Less than ten seconds actually."

* * *

"_Come on, Stevens. I promise not to harass you."_

_She'd given up trying to ignore him minutes before. The man was not one easily disregarded, especially when he was using his low, sensual voice and charming smirk as seduction devices._

"_You know," he began again, "if I remember correctly, and I know I do, we're going to get married any day now and start making babies. The least you can do is give me your private number… just in case I get any late night urges to start on that task."_

_She glared at him menacingly. "I don't answer to your beck and call."_

_He slowly trailed his eyes up and down her body. "A man has needs." He paused, leaning into her seductively. "A woman does too."_

_She looked up at him blankly. "Seriously? Why do I talk to you?"_

_He laughed mischievously. "Because I tempt you. Now give me your phone number."_

_She shot him another aggressive glare, but felt herself beginning to concede. "I'm not having sex with you tonight. I know I told you earlier today that I'm willing to... errr... have your baby but…we are so not doing it tonight."_

"_Fine. Your phone number?"_

_She rattled off a series of numbers, which he quickly programmed into his cell phone. Within a few seconds her own was ringing. She grabbed it and looked down at the caller id and back up into his face._

"_Seriously?"_

_He grinned. "Seriously. I had to make sure you didn't lie to me and give me a fake number. It'd be just like you, Stevens."_

_He was right. And damn it, his smile was contagious. She began to laugh softly and he took the liberty of giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. His facial hair scratched at her skin and, unfortunately, she found that she liked it. He stood up and laid a few bills on the bar._

"_Need a ride home Stevens?" At her suspicious look, he sent her a serious stare. "To your home…alone... I know."_

_Her smile returned to her face and he found that it was especially uplifting that night- perhaps because it was directed towards him._

_She jumped up and grabbed her bag. "Come on. Let's go."_

_Glancing over at the friendly bartender, she gave him a look. "Joe, you never saw any of this… tonight or last night." She cringed remembering how smashed they had been the night before…on the night of their deal._

_Joe nodded and winked. "Gotcha."_

_She looked back towards Sloan, and they walked towards the door and out into the cool night. Hopping into his car, she wondered to herself what she was getting herself into, but couldn't help but smile at the thought of something new._

_

* * *

_

No one else needed to know any of that. She smiled and simply summarized to her friends: "He put my number into his phone and called it to make sure I didn't lie."

Addison chuckled at the thought, but she knew how characteristic that was of the man himself. Meredith and Christina were in the dark, not knowing who was being talked about.

"Weird." Meredith nodded her agreement to Christina's response.

Izzie cleared her throat. "Guys, I don't really want to talk about this anymore."

Her friends let her off the hook and turned the conversation to other subjects, for which she was utterly grateful. She'd accepted her actions wholeheartedly. What she couldn't quite come to terms with herself over were her feelings. If she didn't understand them, how could she explain herself to others?

* * *

His surgery was a success. His attempts to stop thinking about Izzie Stevens? Not so much. 

Walking down the hospital corridor, he was drawn out of his thoughts by the sight of Derek looking over a chart. The other man looked over at him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he responded back, glancing at Shepherd with an inquisitive expression. "What are you still doing here?" He was the attending on call that night; the other man didn't need to be there so late.

Derek frowned. "Meredith is busy."

He nodded understandingly. "I forgot that your other half is at the baby shower. What is that anyway? There's no baby yet and, since it never stops here, I don't think they're celebrating the rain. I mean…why do they need to have an all-women get together? It's sexist."

Shepherd shrugged. "Something with presents and cake. And knowing Meredith- booze."

"Presents, huh?" That caught his attention. He furrowed his brow in confusion. Should he be buying her presents? Was he neglecting his father-to-be duties? Not that he knew what they were, but he could find out.

Derek looked at him curiously. "Why do you care?"

He wasn't sure how to answer the question. Unfortunately, Shepherd was able to make his own conclusions based on his silence.

"Are you the father?" he asked in a harsh whisper, but then shook his head. "No, don't even tell me. I know it. I can tell."

Since the other man already knew, what more could he do than ask how?

"How do you know?"

"I know you." He thought it was ironic that Derek's response was the same as his own to Izzie.

"You never care about what people think or do," Shepherd continued, " but now... you do. If you weren't involved, you would never care about the baby shower- if you even managed to pick up on the fact there was one. You wouldn't care that we're at the hospital while they're out having a good time. You wouldn't be looking at me now like I've exposed your every secret and ripped you open for public viewing."

He frowned. "You can't tell anyone. Not even Grey. Promise me, Derek."

The other man frowned back.

"If you can't do it for me, and, it's fine, I get that…do it for Izzie. She doesn't want anyone to know. Don't ask me why. I don't know myself. All I know is that I want to respect her wishes."

Shepherd looked surprised at his words. "That's serious talk coming from you."

He smiled solemnly. "I've changed, Derek. I want them both- Izzie and the baby. You probably won't believe me, but I don't need you to because I know it's true. I just need you to keep your mouth shut on this."

Derek nodded. "Okay. But Mark, if you're serious, don't mess this up."

"I won't," he vowed. "I'm not letting myself."

He'd spent the majority of his life making mistakes that he tried not to regret. This was his chance to make a choice that would finally turn his life around. Messing it up? Not an option.


	10. Surprises

He was better at being an expectant parent than she was.

One night she had arrived at his hotel room to find him slumped over in bed, some sort of beginner's guide to pregnancy under his arm. She'd removed the paperback and set it on the nightstand, only to catch a glimpse at another surprise hanging on the wall. It was a calendar- one that was already marked with her due date as well as the approximate dates that she should visit Addison again for a check-up. She'd sighed in satisfaction at his apparent efforts. It was obvious that he'd purchased his inexpensive items at the Seattle Grace Hospital gift shop (where else?), but they were of endless value to her.

He worried about things that she would have never thought to worry about, which made her want to shoo him away for being so bothersome, but kiss him senseless for being so caring. He watched her every movement surreptitiously, as to hide his actions from other people, but she knew he was there. She knew that when she dealt with unruly patients, he was in the background watching out for her. She knew that when she felt so fatigued or nauseous that she just couldn't go on, he was waiting to provide her a chair. She knew that if she felt depleted at the end of the day, be it physically or emotionally or both, he'd have had ordered pancakes from room service and they'd be sitting there waiting for her arrival.

He was there even when he wasn't there. She'd quickly found out that Mark Sloan's influence was just as intense as his presence. Every time she felt a little sad for herself, she'd think of the way he'd harass her for doing so. When she felt the need to sink into someone's arms, his were the only ones she considered. His cunning grin was a motivator, his tender smile a comfort. Even though their baby wasn't born yet, he was already a father; a real partner. Who would have thought?

Not her... but damn- the realization was a turn on.

The night that she had found him sleeping in bed with his parenting guide, she'd known instantly that she had to have him again. She'd told herself then that the urge was only a response to her desire to reward him for his unexpected efforts. Now she was able to realize that such a line of thinking was way off the mark. She wanted him… for him. Because he was appealing and sexy and totally not the person she'd thought he was. Who knew being wrong could feel so right?

She hadn't woken him that night because he looked so endearing in his sleep. But now, when he was propped up in bed with that damn smirk on his face, he didn't look so peaceable. That excuse wasn't working anymore.

The lights in the room were dimmed, but she could still see the ever-present interest in his eyes.

When he spoke, his voice was deep and throaty. "Coming to bed?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm tired. Watching the thoughts run through your head is an exhausting business," he joked.

She shot a replica of his trademark smirk back at him in response. "You shouldn't belittle these thoughts."

His breathing hitched as she slowly approached him, unclipping her long, blonde hair in the process.

"No?"

She shook her head and began to remove her socks, his eyes intent on her leisurely movements. When she looked back up at him, their eyes locked, heated brown gaze meeting a blazing blue one. He took her breath away in just a look; she took his away in her next swift movement.

Her shirt came over her head to land on the bed next to him and she grinned impishly. "These thoughts are going to make you very happy."

He reached over to her standing figure and grasped her wrist, giving her a sharp tug in his direction. She landed on him and settled herself onto his warm body, instantaneously reminded of the last time she'd been in that position.

* * *

"_I thought you said there'd be no sex tonight, Stevens."_

_She pushed him down onto the bed and began to straddle his muscular, long legs._

"_Shut up."_

_He raised his eyebrows, surprise competing with the desire that had been battling within him to emerge since he'd found her in the bar only minutes before._

"_I'm not complaining."_

_Her hands found the bottom of his soft, cotton shirt and worked it over his head. His fingers deftly unfastened the zipper of her jeans and she awkwardly slid out of them, her breathing emitted as unsteady, heaving gasps._

"_Good."_

_Her smooth hands ran up and down the length of his chest, stroking heated, sensitive skin. His every nerve was alive and begging for more. She hastily slid out of her shirt and his eyes widened in appreciation. She began to unbutton his own jeans and he felt himself burn with sensation… and anticipation._

"_In fact, Stevens," he muttered between ravishing kisses and guttural moans, "I'm all yours."_

_He didn't know it at the time, but truer words had never been spoken._

_

* * *

_

She lay next to him, satisfaction melting every inch of her body. They fit so well together. Physically, she couldn't ask for more. He was McSteamy; Didn't that say it all?

Even emotionally, he was her equal. They weren't together in a romantic sense, not sharing what she knew would be feigned declarations of love for one another, but they had built a stable partnership between themselves. She thought he knew that she was there for him- or at least hoped he did. She knew that he was there for her; his every action had worked to reinforce that notion.

That's why it was so bewildering the next day when she woke, not met by a warm, masculine body, but rather with cool sheets where he should have been- and the letter he left behind.


	11. Gone

She grabbed the flimsy piece of paper and fumbled to turn on the light. Reading it, her heart fell.

_Izzie,_

_I have to go back to New York. _

_See you soon, _

_Mark._

He was gone. Just like that. Something within her died at that moment, but the optimistic element that characterized her personality was trying to hold on to life. The note was so vague. See you soon? That could be days, weeks, or, facetiously, never again. The plunge of her heart into the deep hollow of her stomach told her that none of the above were options she was willing to face. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. She'd been prepared to raise their child alone, but he'd demonstrated that those fears were for naught. They had a life together, as convoluted and unconventional as it was. What had she done wrong? She didn't think she'd suffocated him or pushed him beyond his limits. She hadn't told him he couldn't have other women just because she was pregnant. She hadn't demanded anything of him; he'd willingly given himself… right? Was that what had scared him? She could pretend to understand that. She could live with him not being quite so devoted… if he'd only come back.

The phone rang. She sniffled and wiped her watery eyes with the bed sheet before answering it.

"Thought you'd be up by now. Get my note?" His masculine voice flooded her senses, awakening her feeling of hope and instantly warming over the chills that had been coursing through her veins.

"Yeah, " she responded softly.

"Then you know I'm in New York. I had a few things to take care of, but I'll be back in a few days."

Thank God. Unwilling to voice the depth of her relief, she simply breathed, "Okay."

She could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Think you can survive without me?"

"Yeah." But only if she knew he was returning.

He must have sensed the anxiety she was experiencing. "You okay, Iz?"

"I'm fine," she replied, but added quickly. "Hurry back."

He emitted a dramatic sigh and she smiled, picturing the devilish smirk she knew he was wearing. "Oh, I suppose… but only for you. Now you behave yourself. I don't want to come back and find out that the mother of my child has run away with another man or landed herself in jail because she went crazy over my absence."

She rolled her eyes, quickly forgetting that she had ever been worried.

"I bet if I really tried I could get Alex to leave Addison for me," she teased. "Better hurry back before I really turn on my charm."

He scoffed, expressing his displeasure. "I think I will. I can't let Karev find out just how appealing pregnant women can be."

She grinned widely and blushed at his compliment, but didn't let herself think about the sentiments behind it. He was a flirt… and he'd made her feel better. As they said their good-byes, she began to mentally prepare herself for a day without him.

* * *

The locker room was full of cranky, sleep-deprived interns when Meredith rushed in.

"Did you guys hear? McSteamy's back in New York."

That got everyone's attention. Alex, Christina, and George all looked up from their morning routines in surprise, while Izzie hid her face in her locker, feigning distraction.

"Seriously?"

Meredith responded to Christina's question with a nod. "Yeah, he called Derek's cell phone this morning and told him. Weird, right?"

"I say 'good riddance'," Alex mumbled as he threw his scrub shirt on.

"I won't miss him," Christina declared. "We agree, Evil Spawn."

Meredith frowned slightly. "Christina, you're just mad because he didn't let you in on some of his surgeries. I kinda liked him."

Alex gave her a pointed look. "You like inappropriate men, remember?"

Izzie felt herself becoming irritated over their comments. Mark wasn't a bad guy. Sure, he was prickly and egotistical, but there was so much more to him than that.

"I wonder why he left," Meredith speculated aloud as she threw her hair up into her regular ponytail.

George piped in grouchily with a response. "Went through all the women here who'd have him."

"Manwhore," Christina scoffed while tying her shoelaces.

"Seattle Grace doesn't need him," George concluded straightforwardly. "No one does."

It was one thing to complain about another person's professional demeanor or personal reputation, but it was another to disparage their person… especially when the comments were so, so wrong. Izzie found that she couldn't take it anymore. She slammed her locker shut, drawing everyone's attention.

"What's wrong with you people?," she shrieked. "Seriously! Why can't you give the guy a chance? Where would any of us be if we weren't given second chances? Alex, you wouldn't be a doctor if you weren't given another attempt at passing the boards. I know I wouldn't be one either if the Chief hadn't granted me a second chance. I probably wouldn't have even made it out of the trailer park. No one is all bad. _No one_. Maybe if you weren't so consumed in focusing on yourselves, you'd have a little regard for others and actually try to understand them. Because, seriously, right now, I respect M… Dr. Sloan more than I do most of you."

She left the room, leaving the others wide-eyed at her response.

* * *

Thankfully, due to the chaotic nature of the hospital, she was able to avoid her friends for most of the day. However, there were those moments when one of them would come up to her and apologize and she would accept, as a true friend would, and blame her lashing out on her rampant hormones. She knew that her actions weren't caused by a physical stimulus, but no one else had to know that. Her response was an emotional one. That was her… Emotional Izzie. But she had a right to be touchy, especially when they'd hit a sore spot with their inappropriate comments. It was pathetic- she couldn't last one day without him before losing her sanity.

She had retreated to a secluded exam room and was resting peacefully when a masculine figure entered through the doorway. Unfortunately, it wasn't the one she had been yearning for.

"About Mark."

She grimaced and rubbed a hand over her forehead. "I don't really want to hear anything more about that subject today, Dr. Shepherd. I was probably out of line by screaming and I apologize, but seriously…"

He took a seat on a stool inside the room, becoming eye level with her.

"Don't presume to know what I'm going to say, Dr. Stevens. I can assure you that you don't."

This surprised her. She raised her head and looked at him attentively.

"You should give him a chance, Izzie."

She drew back slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to pretend. I know about the baby. No, don't get mad at him; I figured it out." He paused, laying a hand comfortingly on hers, before beginning again softly. "Whether we like it or not, Mark and I have been best friends for decades. Honestly, as much as I have hated him over the past year, he will probably always be my best friend. There's a bond there that has been firmly established- so old it's been cemented in place. Even when I was married, Addison was my close friend, but that's a different kind of relationship. Mark, he…"

He shook his head, trying to find the correct words. "Where I am trying to go with this is the fact that I know him, so much so that in the past I could predict his every move. But right now, I can't and… that means something. It means that he's not treating you like he has every other woman in his life- that you're special to him. What you choose to do with that information is up to you, but…you should give him a chance."

Her eyes widened and she withdrew her hand, resting it on her stomach instinctively. "You think so? You think I matter to him in… that way?"

He gave her a frank look.

"A baby, Izzie? I mean- seriously. I understand the desire to be a father, but that's not something you choose with just anyone, no matter how desperate you are. The baby's mother… she's in your life forever. Think about that."

She looked deeply into the other man's eyes, trying to absorb the truth behind his words. Could she dare to think about that thought? No, not now at least. Not when he was gone and her world was already in a spin.

She smiled gently at Shepherd, heart-warmed that he had tried to comfort her.

"I can see why Meredith's crazy about you."

He grinned softly in return. "And I can see why someone else is crazy about you."

She paused for a moment, thoughts running unbridled through her mind.

"If I'm going to give him a chance, that means you do too."

He looked at her, slightly taken aback, but nodded.

"Deal."


	12. Changes

Izzie woke up in her old bed in Meredith's house, grimacing over how uncomfortable sleeping in it was in comparison to the soft mattress on the luxurious bed in Mark's hotel room. She rarely slept in the house anymore, finding herself in it only when he had to spend the whole night at the hospital. But now, with him gone, she hadn't felt comfortable returning to that sumptuous room without him. She wasn't sure if she was allowed to be in that hotel room, though she assumed it was still his because his stuff hadn't been moved, but didn't think she wanted to be there if he wasn't anyway.

She rolled out of bed, rubbing her aching back as she did so. After showering and dressing, she slowly climbed down the stairs, greeting a breakfasting Meredith and Derek as she did so.

"Good morning."

Meredith beamed at the sight of her and motioned for her to sit down. "Good morning. How are you feeling, Iz?"

She sat down at the table and accepted the bowl of cereal Meredith put before her. "Not too bad. Better than yesterday."

She looked over at Shepherd and he winked furtively at her. She smiled, remembering their conversation the day before.

"Good," Meredith replied encouragingly.

"Today's going to be a good day," she announced before digging in to her food. It had better be one. She had to think optimistically about things. She had a job she usually enjoyed and friends that cared, even if she'd yelled at most of them the previous day. Mark was gone, but he _was _coming back. And, of course, she had her baby… _their _baby.

* * *

By midday there was no use in thinking positively. She'd lost not one or two, but three patients, been the unintended target of a few products of bodily functions, and had been switched from helping Dr. Burke to having to assist Dr. O'Malley. Callie O'Malley. 

She remembered well the times that she had cursed the woman for taking her best friend away from her. After Callie's entrance into their lives, the dynamic between she and George had changed. They'd lost something, something that she had thought was special, but he hadn't seemed to miss. After their one night together so many months ago, she'd tried desperately to convince George that it was he and she, not he and Callie, who were meant to be together. He hadn't agreed on that either. He'd gone back to his wife and she'd ended up at Joe's with the hospital's resident bad boy. And at the moment, she couldn't picture her life any other way. She should probably be thanking George for refusing her, but rejection was still rejection, and it still hurt, no matter how well everything had turned out in the end.

She didn't need a lover; she hadn't thought about him in that way for quite a long time. What she did want was her friend back. That's why, when he pulled her into a supply closet near the end of her shift, she went willingly.

He closed the door quietly behind them. "Izzie, we need to talk."

She looked at him blankly. "About what, George?"

He gave her a candid look in return. "About the baby."

She groaned, unhappy that they had to return to this conversation. He really didn't get it.

"George, I've already told you. You aren't the father."

He exhaled deeply, shaking his head. "Stop it. I don't know why you're trying to shield me from the truth, Iz, but you've got to stop."

She lay a hand on his shoulder, trying to reinforce her words. "I don't need you in my life as a… lover…or as the father of my baby. I just need you to be my friend again. Can you do that? I know what I asked of you before- to leave Callie- but I honestly don't need you as anything more than a friend.

He gripped the hand that was resting on him with one of his own. He stared intently into her eyes, while she gazed curiously up into his, waiting for a response. He gave her hand a squeeze and used his free one to brush a piece of her hair away from her face.

When he spoke, his voice was soft and intense. "We could be more than friends."

Her eyes enlarged in shock. Why was he saying these things now… when she didn't want to hear them? Months ago would have been perfect. Currently, that wasn't the case. Right words, wrong man. She had to finally admit it; Mark was the man her body screamed for, her thoughts yearned for, her heart desired. George was a missed opportunity and she couldn't look back. She didn't want to.

But she did need an answer. "Why, George? Why now?"

He shrugged gently. "I've been thinking about it. I want you and the baby, Iz. Anyway I can have you. Callie doesn't have to know."

"What?" she screeched and moved herself away from his contact.

"I don't want to hurt her," he mumbled awkwardly.

She gazed at him furiously. "No, just no. You… you aren't the man I thought you were." She paused, her ire building.

"From now on- leave me alone."

* * *

Having barely made it through the rest of her shift, she entered Meredith's house still seething in anger. Masking her emotions as she searched the house for her roommates, she was relieved to find the residence empty. By the time she made it up the stairs into her bedroom, her anger had dissolved into tears. She buried her face into her pillow, letting its smooth cotton absorb the wetness pouring from her eyes. 

When had George, her caring best friend, become _that_ man? The old George was loving and considerate. He was clumsy and tongue-tied around them, but he treated women with respect. He would have wanted Callie to be protected too, but he wouldn't have tried to get her to sacrifice her self-respect in order to keep his wife happy.

Due to the sound of her own cries, she was unable to hear the footsteps of the person who entered her room, but she did feel the warmth of the hand caressing her back and the way the mattress dipped as a body sat down beside her. Turning her head, she was overjoyed to see the person who had been intruding in on her thoughts all day.

"You're back." She quickly rose to a sitting position and threw her arms around his neck.

He gripped her tightly and attempted to smile back, but concern was etched on his face. "I told you I would hurry."

He pulled away to look into her eyes. "What's wrong?"

His question was asked so tenderly, it warmed her heart. "Nothing, now that you're here."

"That's great for my ego, Izzie, but…"

She shook her head slowly and gave him a light peck, her lips hovering just over his for a few extra seconds. "Let's not talk about that now. What did you do in New York?"

He gave her a smirk in return. "We'll shelve that subject for now too."

His lips claimed hers again, delighting her into good spirits. She responded eagerly, which pleased him, as well.

After a few long moments, upon realizing something, she pulled away. "How did you get in?"

He grinned down at her mischievously. "Derek might have mentioned where the spare key is hidden."

At her questioning look, he continued with a shrug. "He told me you slept here last night and since you're still set against hiding this thing between us, he and I made plans. Don't you think that with all the people who live in this house that it's a little odd they're _all_ gone at the same time?"

She frowned. "Now that you mention it…"

"Derek took Meredith out and I convinced Addison to keep Karev busy for a few hours tonight."

He looked so proud of himself. She beamed, realizing that he was genuinely trying to make her happy. She had wanted him to hurry back to Seattle, to _her_, so he did. She wished to keep their connection a secret, so he worked diligently to do so. She had the feeling that if she desired anything, he'd try to fulfill her every longing. Lucky for them, all she really craved lately was him.

He cut off her thoughts with a question of curiosity. "What are you doing here, Izzie? I thought maybe you'd want to use the whirlpool tub and room service while I was gone"

She flushed softly, admitting, "Not without you."

He grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet, and winked at her flirtatiously. "That sounded like an invitation. Come on; we'll go wash all of those troubles away."

She sighed happily. Troubles? At the moment, she couldn't think of any.

"Mark," she spoke softly, drawing his intense stare back to her face. "Don't ever change."


	13. A Cleansing Experience

_Author's Note: To my readers: a heartfelt thanks. To my reviewers: my immense gratitude and devotion._

_Murgy: I would love to email you when I update, but for some reason your email addy didn't work in your review. :( Maybe if you spell it out without the .com?_

_Lilly: Since I can't actually give you Mark in a whirlpool (And please, I'd totally have first dibs if I could do that...), how about McStizzie in a bathtub?_

* * *

She lay with her back against his chest in his suite's whirlpool tub, bubbles surrounding their heated bodies. The smell of her shampoo permeated throughout the room. She lounged carelessly back against him, her head resting upon his shoulder. He had his arms wrapped around her expanded midsection and he lightly pressed kisses into the curve of her neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin he found there. It surpassed any romantic dream either might have conceived. He couldn't think of any possible way to further the blissfulness they were experiencing, except for perhaps the admission of the feelings that ran between them… assuming that she felt the same as he. It was unreasonable to consider telling her how he felt about her, and the degree to which he felt it, at that very moment. She might make him lose his head, but he wasn't going to risk losing his heart. The last thing he needed was to have it smashed in the ridicule and derision that she may express if she knew that… he loved her. 

He truly did… which blew every expectation he'd ever had about himself out of the water. He loved the way she was passionate and optimistic, both qualities which he hoped she would continue to express in his favor. He loved that she was forgiving, but that she could hold a grudge. She was independent and straightforward, not willing to take disrespect or anything less than satisfactory from anyone… him included. She pushed him: mentally, emotionally, and sometimes in a very tempting physical way. She made him think, she made him smile, she made him lose all rationality. She could push him away, but he pitifully knew that he'd come back every time. She could totally extricate herself from his life, but she'd take his heart when he left.

He wished he had realized when he'd first arrived in Seattle that it would be Izzie Stevens that would turn his life around and completely steal away any sense of detachment he might have. He could have pursued her in the appropriate way… in a way she'd respect. He wouldn't have effectively wasted so much time with Addison; he had admittedly been blind where she was concerned. He wouldn't have tried to further push the boundaries with Derek and he wouldn't have been so… himself. Granted, he currently couldn't complain at the position he'd landed himself in, so perhaps it had all been worth it.

It would definitely be worth it if she would love him back. Maybe that was too much to wish for though. His previous transgressions were well known to all. His obnoxious, disrespectful, and mischievous manner was something she knew well- and had experienced. Did a guy like him have a chance if he represented everything she wasn't? Everything that she didn't care for? He could only hope and try so very hard to win her over by being everything that she _needed. _It wouldn't be a hard endeavor; Anything he could do for her, he would, unquestionably, without qualms.

He ceased his affectionate demonstrations on her neck in order to break their peaceful silence. He emptied a dollop of shampoo from the bottle and languidly worked it into her hair as he spoke

"Izzie… tell me why you were crying tonight."

He could feel the heavy sigh she emitted. "That's actually what I was just thinking about."

He smirked. "You mean you weren't thinking about me and my hot body?"

"That's part of it," she whispered, leaning forward to allow him better access to the rest of her long, blonde locks.

"Oh." His hands stilled momentarily in her hair. She was crying because of him? That wasn't a good sign.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to get mad? Will you tell me why you went back to New York?"

"Absolutely." He hoped that wasn't a lie, but it would be if she was shutting him down completely.

She shifted, turning around to face him, planting herself between his legs. Her eyes locked with his.

"It was George. He's the one who made me cry. I hate crying over men; I hate that I can't stop myself, but he… he's not George anymore. We don't laugh at jokes together anymore. We don't talk. And the only talk we do have…" she frowned, and he ran his hands over her arms in a comforting manner, helping her build her resolve. "He still thinks the baby is his, Mark. He offered to be with me… behind Callie's back."

He froze, feeling as if the blood running through him had simply stopped cold. Taking in her downcast eyes and slouched shoulders, he grew wary.

"What did you say?" His question was hesitant; whether or not he wanted to hear the answer unknown.

Her brown gaze flew up to meet his. "What do you think I said? Of course not. I don't want to be with someone who can't allow himself to be with me. If I'm going to be in a relationship, it's going to be all about me… and the guy, of course… whomever he may be."

He ran his hands up and down her back possessively, his large hands gripping her warm, smooth skin, pulling her toward him. "What about me? Will you let yourself accept the… things that I can give you?"

She arched an eyebrow in his direction, her curiosity evident. "What can you give me, Mark? Aside from the baby."

He drew a deep breath, preparing himself for the admission he was about to divulge. He leaned in and kissed her forehead unhurriedly for strength, and to underscore his convictions, before speaking. "I can give you support, Iz, and the most wholehearted care you've ever received. I can give you space or time, if that's what you need, and I can give you dedication. I can give you any part of me that you want."

But not love. She didn't hear the thing that she'd most wanted to hear, to receive, from him included in his declaration. In her eyes, he hadn't been able to pledge that. In truth, he was prepared to give it to her in spades, but he hadn't allowed himself to say it. He'd chipped at the wall of defense guarding his heart, allowing scores of heartfelt emotion to escape, but he hadn't been able to destroy it completely. It was too much to ask of a man who'd never allowed himself to emote, to let himself experience feelings of warmth, let alone share them.

She pressed her face into the curve of his neck, allowing him to hold her. Granted his speech hadn't met her every desire, but it had fulfilled many of them… and in a way she had never expected, but instantly knew was sincere and profound.

He cleared his throat. "The reason I went back to New York was to finalize the sale of my condo and a few other things along that line. I arranged for most of my things to be transferred here. I'm moving to Seattle, Izzie, and putting down roots. The weather is going to drive me crazy and I'm likely to drive _you _crazy with complaints about the rain every day, but what can a guy do? This is where I want to be."

She raised her head to look at him, amazement written on her face. "Seriously?"

He laughed softly. "It's about time, don't you think? This hotel room has some nice memories, now especially, but…" He left off with a shrug.

She pressed a firm kiss to his lips, her pleasure evident. Pulling back, she looked at him questioningly.

"Where will you live?"

He eyed her hesitantly, gauging her response. "I was hoping to find a place somewhere near the hospital… and I was hoping you would move in with me. You know, for the baby's sake."

"Oh!" It was clear to him that she hadn't considered that possibility.

"I understand if you don't want to; I guess it would be kind of obvious that I was the father if I moved here permanently and then you suddenly moved out of Meredith's house. Maybe it was a bad id-"

She cut him off with a passionate kiss, slowly drawing herself away from his hungry lips to speak. "No, no… it was a good idea. A great one. I love… it."

He grinned, visibly delighted by her response. "But then everyone will know…"

She nodded, a soft smile on her face. "Yeah, they will. But I don't care anymore. I'd go tell them now if I wasn't so content to stay right here. Honestly, Mark, they can question me… or us… all they want. They might never know how right it is, how good it feels, but I do. I was nervous about everyone's thoughts and opinions at first, only because I was nervous about my own. But now? I'll never think twice about this decision… about the baby… about _you_… ever again."

He pulled her to him in a consuming kiss that greedily took everything that she had to give. He felt the strength of her pleasure and conviction in the kiss, and though he didn't know it, he felt the strength of her love as well.

So they hadn't quite made it to the point he'd wanted to conclude the evening with- that intangible, elusive pinnacle of shared love and its ecstasy, but by God, they were jumping leaps and bounds in that direction and were finally- _finally_- on the same page.


	14. Revelations

The bar was full of Seattle Grace employees, not an unusual phenomenon, but what made the night different than any other was the fact that they were all sitting together. Meredith had commandeered a table in the back and she sat with Derek at her side. Across from him was Addison, who had Alex sitting next to her. When Christina approached the group, Joe was following her with a tray of drinks. She took a seat at an adjacent table while he quickly handed each member of the group the appropriate cocktail.

"Are we celebrating something tonight, guys?"

Meredith took a sip of her drink before answering him. "Actually, Izzie asked us to meet her here."

"Barbie's got an announcement," Christina chimed in.

"Oh. Interesting," he commented, not wanting to get involved. He was already a keeper of too many of Izzie Stevens' secrets. "Well let me know if you need anything."

As he walked away, Addison looked over at Christina curiously. "Where's Dr. Burke?"

"Working," Yang replied flatly. "Someone has to be there if we're all going to be here having bunches of fun."

"Sarcastic, much?" Alex questioned, his arm around Addison's shoulders. He glanced around the group, noting another missing member. "Where's O'Malley?"

"I'm not sure," Meredith commented. "At the hospital, maybe. I know Izzie invited him."

"Where is our guest of honor?"

Derek answered Christina's question with a nod toward the entrance. "Coming through the door right now."

Several heads swung towards the entryway curiously. Most were surprised to see who was trailing behind her.

"McSteamy? I thought he was in New York."

Izzie overheard Meredith's comment as she worked her way toward the group and stopped slightly, causing Mark to bump into her from behind. He lay a supportive hand discreetly on her back, his touch calming her instinctively. He whispered quiet words of encouragement into the air and the mellifluous sound of his voice pacified her nerves and acted as much needed support. She took a deep breath and finished her walk towards the table, feeling him on her heels.

When she greeted her friends and coworkers, her voice had regained its cheerfulness. "Hey guys!"

They looked back and forth between her lively grin and the masculine figure behind her.

"Hi Izzie, Mark." Addison's voice was the first to address them, Derek's next. Unlike the others in the group, they were well acquainted with the thought of Stevens and Sloan together. However, soon everyone else followed suit with their greetings.

"Dr. Sloan? I thought you left."

Mark, smirking at Christina's question, pulled out a chair for Izzie before dropping into the one next to her. "Only temporarily, Yang. I didn't know you cared."

"I don't."

Derek cleared his throat, drawing Sloan's attention. "How was your trip?"

Mark grinned at the other man. "Productive, thanks."

Derek nodded, satisfied that everything had gone well.

"How are you feeling, Izzie?"

At Meredith's question, Stevens looked over at Addison with a smile, remembering what had happened earlier in the day.

_

* * *

_

"_Now this is going to be cold, Izzie."_

"_I know."_

"_Just reminding you. It's easy to forget when you're the patient." Addison glanced over at the anxious parents, pleased to see them together, looking happy and excited. Mark was holding Izzie's hand, sitting on the edge of the seat adjacent the bed._

"_Have you experienced any unusual pain or discomfort lately?"_

_Izzie nodded hesitantly. "I did feel some tenderness, but I assumed it was just due to all of this excitement recently."_

"_You did? You never told me!" Mark looked upset at this news, but Izzie gave his hand a few gentle squeezes. _

"_I didn't want to worry you. I don't even feel it anymore."_

_Addison had to suppress a grin at their amiable interaction. "Well we'll check that out."_

_As Montgomery started her procedure for the ultrasound, the three remained silent. The expecting parents watched the monitor with rapt interest as the small figure they'd created together became visible on the screen._

"_Wow."_

_Izzie echoed Mark's sentiments with a nod. "Yeah."_

_Addison looked at them curiously. "Everything looks fine. Do you want to know the gender?"_

_The pair looked at one another and nodded, gripping one another's hand in anticipation._

"_It's a boy. Congratulations."_

_The serious expression on Sloan's face transformed into a goofy grin._

"_A boy…," he whispered, overcome with wonder._

_The smile on Izzie's face paralleled the one on his and moisture began to build up in her eyes. He leaned in toward her and kissed her, surprising both women with his display of affection._

"_We did it, Iz."_

_

* * *

_

"I'm feeling great, Meredith. Thanks."

Alex swallowed his drink and asked her another question.. "How's Izzie Jr.?"

She suddenly grew nervous again and looked over at Mark for support. He winked, giving her wordless encouragement.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you guys about," she said, her words cautious and slow.

Sounds of curiosity were emitted from her fellow interns.

"Oh?"

"What's wrong, Izzie?"

She gave them a hesitant smile before answering. "Addison told me earlier that I'm having a boy."

Derek smiled, offering his congratulations. Meredith and Alex looked shocked, but quickly offered theirs as well. Christina muttered something about how the last thing they needed was another guy around, but she did so good-naturedly. Mark sent her a heart-stopping grin, reminding her of his happiness.

"So, it's not an Izzie Jr. then."

An awkward silence met Alex's comment.

"No…," Izzie started, drawing in a deep breath. "More like a McSteamy junior."

She quickly grabbed Mark's hand, preparing herself for their response. He gave her knuckles a brief kiss before bringing their joined hands down to the table.

"Seriously?" Meredith about spilled her drink as her hand flew up to her mouth.

"You're joking." Alex didn't look pleased.

"How did that happen?"

Christina glanced over at Meredith at that question. "You know how it happened. Sweaty McSex. The question is… why?"

"Why?.. Uh…," At the moment, Izzie was unable to speak. Luckily, Mark came to her rescue.

"Because we like each other. We understand each other. We have fun together. We… It's what we wanted. That's the only thing that matters."

As they sat letting his words sink in, Meredith noticed Addison and Derek exchange a glance.

"Wait. You two don't look surprised. You knew?"

Addison shrugged. "I'm her doctor."

"I guessed," Derek answered with a grin.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Get over it, Mer," Christina muttered with a moan. "Focus on the fact that our friend is having a baby with the hospital sex god. No offense, McDreamy and McWhipped."

Mark grinned at the description applied to him, while Shepherd rolled his eyes and Karev scowled.

"So are you two together now?"

Meredith's question caused Izzie and Mark to glance at one another. With their hands still joined together, they looked the part of a happy couple, but were they? Could two people be considered together, for life, if they weren't in love?

Reminding herself that it didn't matter what other people thought, not even her closest friends, Izzie smiled shyly at Mark. Their gazes locked and he sent her a heated stare.

She cleared her throat before speaking. "We're, um, raising the baby together. We're going to live together. But… uh… we aren't… in love."

But she wished they were. She didn't have the courage to add that, considering Sloan would probably think her crazy for suggesting it, but by God, it was true.

"Excuse me, I need to hit the restroom."

The others, who were sitting solemnly at the tables, nodded, but Mark had to question her. Was she suddenly regretting their announcement? Could she not bare to think of what they'd gotten themselves into now that everyone else knew?

"You okay, Iz?"

She looked back at him, shooting him a gentle nod. "Yeah, don't worry."

He watched her protectively as she walked away before turning back to their onlookers.

"I don't get it," Meredith commented, a confused expression on her face.

"Get what?"

She shook her head disbelievingly as she spoke. "You're having a baby. You… and a baby… and you're still here. Aren't you freaked out? I am a little and it's not even my kid."

"Thank God," Christina muttered, but flinched when Meredith and Derek both glared at her.

Alex looked up from his drink, his eyes studying Mark intently.

"He loves her."

Karev's words were spoken aloud to himself, as he suddenly realized the truth, but everyone else was in earshot.

Sloan didn't answer, looking only at Alex and back away again, but his answer was written all over his face, obvious to all.

The intense moment was interrupted as Izzie rushed out of the bathroom. Upon looking over and seeing her horrified face, Mark jumped out of his chair and hurried to meet her.

"What's wrong? Izzie, tell me what's wrong!"

Her voice was a weak cry. "Blood."

He swung his head over to the table and Addison was already out of her seat.

"Hospital. Now."


	15. Waiting

The waiting room was eerily silent, the doctors that usually walked confidently and boldly into it to divulge information to concerned family members now facing roles reversed. Addison had not allowed any to enter as she examined Izzie, save for Alex because they worked so well together. This left in the waiting area Meredith and Derek propped up next to one another on an uncomfortable couch, Christina quietly studying her shoes as she sat in a nearby chair, and Mark, tired of pacing back and forth on the cold linoleum tile, sunk down to the floor, back to the wall.

Had he ever been more scared in his life? It didn't seem feasible. He must have lost twenty years off of his life when he'd seen her hurry out of the bathroom, aghast look upon her face. It wasn't his specialty, but he knew enough about medicine to know that they could lose the baby; that he could lose her. Could it be that now when he'd finally found a woman he'd willingly devote his life to, she'd be taken way from him? It was a circumstance too unimaginable to conceive, but yet, so real. And the baby… they needed it. Just as he needed her to make himself feel complete, he needed their baby as well. If one of those pieces was missing, what would he be? Nothing more than the deficient, defective man he'd always been.

The door flew open and each of the occupants of the small room looked in its direction, hoping to see Addison stride in with news. They were disappointed to see that it was George who had entered, not the neonatal surgeon. O'Malley had a grave look on his face, having heard the news of Izzie's arrival from the hospital gossip vine.

"What happened?"

Meredith was the first to respond, her voice a grave whisper. "She had some bleeding, George."

The intern sat down into the nearest chair, a troubled expression on his face. "It's too early for the baby."

"Yeah."

George wiped a hand distractedly through his hair as he stared off into the distance. After a few moments, he took a deep breath, obviously coming to some sort of decision. "I need to see her."

"You can't," Christina told him flatly.

He turned to glare at her. "Don't tell me that I can't. It's my right."

"She's right, George," Meredith said, trying to calm him. "Addison doesn't want any distractions while she's examining her. It's for the best."

He shook his head violently. "No, it's not. You don't understand. I need to see her. I have to."

"George…"

"That's my kid in there!" His loud eruption seemed to surprise him as much as it did the others. "We had a one night stand. She's carrying my child. That makes it my right to see her. I don't give a damn what you think, or what Addison Montgomery says, because damn it, that's my child in there! I'm the father!"

His outburst was met with silence. As he stopped to catch his breath, breathing heavily with fury, the other occupants of the room turned to look away from him. Their eyes flew to survey the reaction of the masculine figure sitting against the wall- Mark Sloan. His countenance had been expressionless, his thoughts unreadable as he stared down at floor he was sitting on. Christina was watching him wide-eyed; Meredith and Derek had exchanged glances before looking towards him. Each was wondering what he would do or say…if anything. Would he want to set George straight? Would he let the other man have his delusions?

Their questions were answered in moments as the other man lifted his head, his eyes the only animate part of his stony countenance. They radiated with heat as he cleared his throat, drawing the young male intern's attention.

"No," he declared firmly, the sound of his voice affirming his words unquestionable, "you aren't."

George stared down into his eyes, instantly realizing what the other man was implying. "You bastard," he growled, starting to lunge at the attending.

Suddenly the door opened, interrupting him. Every head in the room swung in its direction.

Alex Karev walked in and frowned at his fellow intern. "Dude, O'Malley, it's not worth it." He glanced over at the silently agitated, tense plastic surgeon who had looked up so hopefully when he'd entered. "Sloan, come on. You should be in here with us."

Mark didn't need to be told twice. He quickly rose and walked past O'Malley to the door, staring down at the young intern as he did so. Alex moved slightly out of the way in order to let him out.

Moving back to fill the doorway, Karev shook his head pitifully at George, who had an expression on his face that intermingled devastation and rage.

"She doesn't want you in there. She wants him- in more ways than one, I'd imagine." He paused, before taking one last shot at the man. "And just for the record, you're not the father of her baby. That was wishful thinking."

George's quick intake of breath was audible, more a gasp of surprise than anything. "You knew?" He abruptly turned around in order to scrutinize the others. One look at the way Derek avoided his eyes, the way Meredith tried to stop herself from looking ashamed, and the way Christina stared at him so blatantly, he knew his question was answered instantly.

"You knew. I can't believe it. You knew."

Unexpectedly, a feminine voice from behind him spoke.

"Based on the way you were yelling it, I'd say everyone does."

He quickly swiveled back around, but he hadn't needed to see whom Alex had been hiding behind his back in order to know whose voice it was. He recognized it instantly.

Callie.

_Uh-oh._


	16. Old Wounds and New Perspectives

"Callie… I.."

"Don't, George. Don't even say a word." Her eyes glinted with anger as she approached him, stopping to stand only feet from him. He looked down at his feet ashamedly, then back up into her eyes nervously, trying to prepare himself for her reaction.

"The whole time that we have been together," she began, ire increasingly building in her voice, "I have been wondering when it'll be me. When will I be the one you turn to? When will I be the one who gets to share laughs and all of life's little moments with you? When will I be the person you think of when you consider forever? When you think of the woman you love? I _am_ your wife, after all. But now I realize that I should have known the answer all along. Never. You will _never_ think about me that way. You lied to me. You said those vows when we got married. I didn't force you, and I foolishly thought you meant them, but I realize now that you never did. If it wasn't Meredith Grey, it was Izzie Stevens. Never me. You've made a fool out of me. I hope you're happy. I have done nothing less than love you, George, but never again will I think of you the way I once did. Never, never again."

She ended her tirade with tears rolling down her cheeks, unwilling to break the eye contact that was forcibly hurling her words at him.

He was only able to let out a squeak. "Callie…"

"Don't. You don't want to be with me. And even if you say you do, well… I don't want to be with you."

She exited the room, leaving an awestruck George behind to wonder how his life had spiraled out of control so quickly.

* * *

His first glimpse of her as he entered the exam room was a heartbreaking one. She lay on her side, head facing the door, tears slowly dribbling down her cheek onto the sterile white pillow. He pushed the fear he had for her and the baby aside in order to comfort her, to be strong for her. At that moment, she needed the strength more than he needed to delve into the realm of 'what ifs' and unanswerable questions. 

As she registered his arrival, she tried to wipe away her tears, but it was to no avail; the eliminated ones were simply replaced by others, the product of an emotional dam breaking inside of her, letting every tearful sentiment lose in tangible form to cascade down her cheeks unhindered.

He slowly made his way toward her, pausing to grab a handful of tissues from a nearby table. He settled himself gently upon her hospital bed and wiped a few strands of hair away from her eyes with his free hand. Taking a tissue, he carefully blotted at the wet drops upon her face. His tenderness, however, only precipitated more.

"Izzie…"

His voice was low and warm, a slight comfort to her in such a time of need.

"What happened, Mark? What did I do?"

Her distraught words broke his heart. He couldn't reassure her properly… not when he couldn't even reassure himself.

"I don't know." He felt as if he didn't know anything. The world had suddenly stolen away all of his confidence, leaving him destroyed and at its mercy, a mere mortal like everyone else. He wasn't used to feeling vulnerable… to letting someone else, or simply fate, have control. He was Mark Sloan and Mark Sloan was a man who created his own destiny… who played by no one else's rules. Until now.

"I don't know, Izzie," he repeated. "But what I do know is that it wasn't your fault. Everyone who knows you knows that you could never be neglectful of someone you love, not even unintentionally. It just isn't in your nature. It's not you."

She rolled over onto her back, catching his eyes for the first time. She was about to say something when a different voice, this one feminine, cut her off.

"He's right."

Addison entered, Izzie's chart in her hand. Her demeanor was professional- a sign that she was there to provide them with answers. She stopped in front of the bed, facing the couple.

"It was nothing you did, Izzie. You have a condition called placenta previa. Basically, in your case, it means that the placenta is covering your cervix, slightly touching it. It's a fairly rare problem, but in many cases that it exists, it's more serious than yours. You're going to have to be here for a while, but eventually you may get to go home provided that you're on bed rest."

Mark nodded his head, taking it all in. "Bed rest we can do." He nudged Izzie's shoulder a little. "That means I better find us as place to put a bed in," he joked.

She smiled lightly, unable to resist his attempts to calm her, before reverting back to seriousness. "Thanks, Addison. So… will the baby be alright?"

The surgeon frowned faintly. "As far as I can tell. But you have to realize that this is a serious condition and there is mortal risk involved. For both of you." She sighed, rubbing her forehead stressfully. "Truthfully, I can't believe I missed it earlier in the ultra sound."

Izzie shook her head. "Don't blame yourself. We don't blame you."

Mark nodded in agreement at her words, leaving Addison somewhat amazed that a couple in their position could be consoling her. She promptly said her goodbyes and left the room, the couple alone together again.

With the other woman's exit, Izzie burst once more into tears, the positive pretense she'd shown moments before disappearing before Mark's eyes. He grabbed her around the shoulders, drawing her body nearer to his. With her head resting upon his shoulder, he ran his hands soothingly upon and down her back, hoping his ministrations would salve her emotional wounds.

Between her sniffles she could hear his comforting words of consolation and understanding. The reminder that they were truly in the situation together caused her to let all of her worries out.

"What if I can't do it, Mark? What if the baby needs more than I can give it...give him? What will we do? I love him so much already, but love can't help him now. What's to say that we won't lose him tomorrow? Today?"

He pulled away from her slightly in order to meet her eyes. "We don't know what's going to happen, Iz. But I can promise you that we'll take every precaution. We'll do everything that we _can _in order to save him."

She let out a muffled sob before grabbing his shirt with both hands, looking up at him with desperate eyes, needing answers- demanding them.

"What if that's not enough?," she asked hoarsely.

He shook his head roughly, almost refusing to think about such a circumstance, before he gave into her pleading eyes. Taking a deep breath, he stared down at her.

"Then we'll lose him. And you'll hate it and I'll hate it, but we'll stick it out together. We'll suffer, Iz. You know that. It will be the most agonizing thing that you or I will ever experience and every moment will feel like it hurts worse than the one before it. I can't even conceive of the pain. But the truth is, and it sounds sacrilegious to say it, we'll get used to the pain… and we'll go on. But we can do it together. All of it together. We don't have one now, but one day we'll have a house, and it will be full of rooms that need filled… and I don't care whether it's filled by our kids or adopted kids or a pack of freaking dogs. I don't care- as long as they're ours, Izzie."

She gazed up at him, willing herself not to close her eyes for fear that she would be blinking away the moment. Was he saying what she thought he was? She had to know for sure.

"I can't be that woman, Mark. The one that asks you to stay for her own peace of mind."

He grinned softly, skin crinkling near his eyes.

"Then I'll stay for mine."

She reached up, running a hand along the side of his face. He grabbed it and held it against him, capturing her complete attention.

"I'm scared as hell by what I'm going to tell you, Izzie, but I've got to say it. With so many questions that we can't answer, I can't tell you everything's going to be alright. But I can assure, regardless of anything and everything that happens, one thing will remain the same. You have to know it. You have to know that I… that the father of your child… loves you. No matter what."

Her eyes widened. Her head grew hazy, overwhelmed by his sentiments. Her lips parted, but only one word came out.

"Mark…"


	17. The Response

A soft grin played hesitantly on his face as he awaited her reaction to his declaration.

"Wow."

He had to nod at that comment. He too was pretty blown away by his own feelings- and by the sudden need to express them. Hopefully, it wouldn't turn out to be something he'd regret; a monumental mistake that would ruin everything.

He cleared his throat cautiously before trying to rationalize his statement to her. "Izzie, I'm not saying this to pressure you or for any other reason that to comfort you. I thought it'd be reassuring to know that the father of your only child loves you."

Her eyes flew up to meet his. She bit her lip timidly, obviously debating something in her mind. When she spoke, her voice was low, her words deliberate.

"Mark, I have to be honest with you."

He swallowed nervously, trying to assess her tone. "Of course."

She grabbed his hand and ran her fingers over it slowly as she spoke, drawing haphazard patterns on his skin in a distracting manner.

"Our baby isn't my only child. I gave a little girl away for adoption when I was a teenager. She needed a better life, and from what I've seen of her lately, which isn't much, it was the right choice."

She paused, drawing in a deep breath, her hand stilling above his. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though."

Silence filled the air for moments. She waited apprehensively, expecting an onslaught of questions.

However, he surprised her, as it was his habit of doing. He asked only one question of her.

"Is she happy?"

She gazed up into his questioning eyes. "I think so," she replied, choking up a little. "I don't have any reason to doubt it."

He nodded, taking in her response. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he pulled her closer to him, his strong arms wrapping around her body protectively. She could feel his warm breath in her ear as she lay her head on his shoulder.

"Then that's what matters, right, Iz? It must hurt you to be away from her, but she's happy- and that makes it worthwhile. You made your choice. You made her happiness possible."

He paused, his tone lightening. His voice became playful, but hesitant, wavering slightly. "You also make my happiness possible."

She pulled back, needing to look at him, to gaze into his eyes when he said such tender things. It surprised her to see that she could read him like an open book; he was exposing his every thought and emotion to her… a once thought to be impossible feat.

"Really?"

A small smile lit up his face as he looked down at her. He bobbed his head up and down slowly, stalling as he chose his words carefully.

"It's contingent upon you." He paused. "So, Dr. Stevens, if she's happy and I'm happy, the question is… are you?"

A beam lit up her face and he felt his sense of hope flutter to life with its appearance. She ran a hand over her cheek, wiping away the tears that had been dribbling down from her eyes.

"Never more so than in the last fifteen minutes."

He grinned back at her, fighting back the urge to be overly optimistic, to jump to positive conclusions.

"Even with all the tears?"

"It's all part of the whole experience," she joked, continuing to wipe a few of them away.

He nodded, attempting to understand. "Ah."

With the last of her tears gone, she looked up at him seriously. Her demeanor had changed dramatically. "You told me how you felt, Mark, but I haven't told you yet. Not the truth. And I need to."

He shifted uncomfortably on her hospital bed, attempting to brace himself for what was to come. She swallowed nervously, attempting to build up her confidence.

"I thought I was the biggest fool in the world, getting involved with you. I made a deal to have a baby with a man hardly more than an acquaintance while drunk in a bar. That just screams pathetic...desperate…crazy. Emotional Izzie is having a breakdown yet again. No one would be surprised. For a while, I wondered if what I thought everyone would think of me was right. I wondered if I was fulfilling the prophecy that was always expected of me- to end up knocked up and on my own with a child who's father I didn't really know."

She paused and grabbed his hand. The feel of his warm skin meeting hers was a reassurance to both. Her gaze bore directly into his eyes, directing him to listen to her… to understand her.

"But you changed that, Mark. I couldn't have done any of it without you. I wouldn't be having a baby and I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now."

He raised a brow curiously. "In the hospital?"

She shook her head insistently. "No. Well, yes, I suppose, but that's not what I meant. It's because you never left that I didn't become the woman I expected to be. You stayed and you supported and you… loved. You're my support system, my best friend, my family. What you see before you is not a woman who's desperate or lonely or forlorn. Instead, I'm a woman who knows what she wants out of life and thinks that she can achieve it- thinks that anything and everything is within her reach. You did that to me, Mark. _You. _You did it simply by not being the man I thought you were, but by being so much more instead. By proving me wrong, you've made _me _happy."

A beat passed; the silence deafening.

"What woman wouldn't be happy knowing that the man _she _loves is by her side?"

He shook his head, dumbfounded. Had he heard right? Or was fate playing tricks with him again?

"Seriously?"

She grabbed the sides of his face, leaving him no choice but to gaze into her eyes.

"When I said you were my family, I wasn't lying. I love you."

He pulled her to him, closing the distance between them. Before he met her lips, he uttered a promise.

"Izzie Stevens, I'll never let you regret this day."

* * *

Unbeknownst to them, they had a couple of spectators watching from the outside.

"Disgusting."

Meredith nudged Christina gently. "They're happy."

Yang nodded, revulsion written on her face. "I know, that's what's disgusting."

Meredith rolled her eyes and turned to glare at her boyfriend. "I still can't believe you knew."

Shepherd shrugged. "Friends share these type of things."

"Friends, huh?"

He nodded, turning to look from Meredith back to the happy couple. "We're trying."

She smiled, following his gaze. "I'm glad."

"Me too." From behind them, Addison piped in with her agreement. "You know, she's going to be in here for a while. It'd be nice if we could show our support somehow."

Christina scowled. "Count me out."

Meredith scoffed at her friend's display of heartlessness. "Oh come on, Christina." She looked back at Addison.

"What did you have in mind?"


	18. Aching for Home

She sighed heavily as she shifted in the hospital bed. Bed rest was really getting old. Actually, she should be thankful for the stillness of the vacant room. Her friends had been trying hard to keep her room occupied at all hours of the day- and night- even if she didn't want their presence. But being stuck in bed was the same whether someone else was there or not: monotony so painful it bordered on mind numbing torture.

She'd technically only been a patient of the hospital for a week, but her room was already looking like it belonged more in a dormitory than in a medical environment. Stacks of magazines threatened to tip over from the nightstand and mounds of balled up blankets lay piled high in a lounge chair across the room. Bottles of water at various stages of emptiness belonging to one friend or another were strewn about the room.

The mess was kind of comforting. It made the room less sterile, but all she wanted was to go home. No, screw home. Bed rest was the same anywhere. All she wanted to do was to get up and go. Maybe make a few quick trips around the hospital, a swift check on the clinic, perhaps a few rounds. Yeah, that sounded good, but her prison guards would make sure that didn't happen.

Desperately she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed one of the trashy romances Meredith had left her _in case _she got bored. She glanced down at the cover- a half naked man was embracing a fragile young woman in his arms. She rolled her eyes. Perusing the masculine figure in the image, she noted that he was no match for Mark. If women all over the country saw this guy as swoon-worthy, what would they think of McSteamy? Not that she was about to share, of course.

Opening the book she leisurely flipped through a few pages. Figuring reading it was more interesting than studying the areas of chipped paint on the walls, she began to do so. That was when Sloan walked in.

He grinned widely at the sight of her. "Hey."

She looked up and returned the sentiment with a smile. "Hey."

He approached the bed, gently nudging her over to make room for him.

"What's this?"

Gently taking the book from her hands, he glanced down at it.

"Seriously, Iz? Porn? I didn't know you became so desperate without me after… oh… two hours."

She glared up at him, slightly embarrassed to be caught with the book and irritated at his playful demeanor.

"Not porn- smut," she told him, trying to rationalize the reading material.

He winked slyly at her. "So porn without pictures, then."

She shook her head and gave up. "Blame Meredith. Either that's all the hospital gift shop has to offer or _she _likes that kind of thing."

He set the book on the nightstand with a laugh. "I knew she was a dirty whore."

She tried not to smile at that comment. "At least Christina wasn't in charge of picking out gifts."

His brows raised at the thought. "I bet she makes sure all of her porn has an educational lesson given the surgical junkie she is. Poor Burke."

A commotion at the door made the pair look up. Addison walked in, a stack of newspapers in her arms. She walked over the bed and dropped them ungracefully on top of Mark.

"Wow, those are heavy."

The pair looked down at the pile, immediately taking notice of the theme of the articles.

"Real estate ads, Addie?"

She nodded her head, her trademark collected composure returning. "We've been working on this for a while- Derek, Meredith, and I. We've highlighted the promising ones in yellow, marked out in black the ones not even fit for you, Mark, and put question marks by the questionable ones."

He raised a brow. "What color are the question marks in?"

Addison looked upward in desperation and then returned her gaze to Izzie, who was grabbing the first newspaper of the pile. "Look them over and let us know what you think."

Izzie raised her head to meet the older woman's eyes. "Thanks, Addison. Really. That was a lot of work and I appreciate it."

Mark nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, thanks Addie."

She smiled contently in return. "My pleasure. I thought since I was the one ordering you to stay here, Izzie, I should at least help you guys out."

The blonde grinned at her. "Well this will keep me occupied for hours. Thank you."

Addison stuck around to chat with them for a few more minutes before leaving. At her departure, the pair began studying her handiwork carefully.

They flipped through the ads, commenting on a few houses. After a few hours, they had a number of torn-out clippings set aside.

Izzie looked through the pile of their favorites and sighed heavily. "They all sound great. How will we ever decide?"

Mark ran his hand down her back comfortingly. "We'll have to go check then out. I just wish we didn't have to wait."

She looked up at him. "About that… I think you should go to see them."

His gaze was inquisitive. "Without you? I can't. What if you don't like what I choose?"

"Take Addison," she suggested. "For a woman's perspective. I trust her eye."

"Seriously?" He looked surprised that she would suggest that.

"Seriously. We need a house, Mark. We're having a baby, remember?"

He ran his hands over her stomach lovingly, watching his own slow movements. "As if I could forget."

She caught one of his hands in her own. "I trust you. I love you and I trust you."

His eyes met hers and she could see the adoration in them. "I think that's the first time a woman has said that to me and meant it."

She smiled gently. "I trust you." She paused. "That one was to give you confidence."

He leaned in to kiss her, pausing only to say "I love you".

* * *

Days later, Mark and Addison followed the realtor she'd found quietly into a prospective house. An uncomfortable silence had existed between the pair from the moment they'd set out on their expedition. It was unnatural- to be house hunting with one's ex-lover; a woman whose past was so intertwined with his own. 

Addison let out a gasp as she looked around in wonderment at the interior of the large two-story house. Mark had to echo her reaction as he ran his eyes over the residence. Each let out little comments in interest at the house's features, obviously liking it. They stopped in the midst of the living room to give the room a going over. They looked at each other. Their eyes met, quelling their awe and supplanting it with an uncomfortable silence once again. The tension between them was thick, its pressure suffocating.

Addison cleared her throat uncomfortably and motioned towards the wall. "Nice fireplace."

He nodded in concurrence. Turning to look the other way, he said awkwardly, "Big kitchen. Izzie would like it."

She swiveled to look in that direction, but instead her gaze landed on him. She ran her eyes over his figure, studying him intently.

She spoke, her voice uneasy and hesitant. "Did you ever think…?"

He knew exactly what she meant. He'd thought about it- about having such a life with her… about having a house with rooms to fill and yards to tend to… about settling down and being the head of a household- that guy ensconced in matrimony and family with her.

"Yeah, I did…"

She let out a deep breath, unable to meet his eyes.

"I didn't. I didn't even consider it. I'm sorry. The way I treated you, Mark… it was wrong."

He emitted a friendly chuckle, which caused her to look up. Their gazes locked and he smiled at her agreeably.

"It's okay. I wanted it then, but I know now… it wouldn't have been right. We would have been fooling ourselves."

She walked slowly away from him in the direction of the next room. "I hate looking back and… realizing my mistakes."

"I've known about mine all along. Most while they're happening."

She turned back to look at him. A moment's pause let his words sink in.

"I'm proud of you, Mark."

Her solemn words took him by surprise. "Thanks, Addie. I'm glad you're happy too."

"I am," she said, smiling at the thought of Alex. "Now let's check out this house. Izzie's trusting us to know what's what."

* * *

In the middle of their day long outing, Mark was paged back to the hospital for an emergency surgery. Addison went with, but headed towards Izzie's room in order to give the intern a synopsis of their day. 

She gave the blonde the rundown on each house that they had visited. She told her how Mark had been insistent on the necessity of walk-in closets, as Izzie's had mentioned she'd like, and large, updated kitchens, which he knew she'd enjoy.

Izzie smiled in delight. "He loves me."

Addison couldn't help but echo the smile. "I know," she replied seriously.

"I didn't realize it for so long, but now I look back and see how obvious it should have been."

"Men are hard creatures to decipher, but one thing is for sure: they're creatures of habit. No man changes his life around for just anyone."

Izzie laid back against her pillow, contentment shining in her expression. "I'm a lucky, lucky girl."

Addison chuckled, clearly happy for her. "Yeah, you are… especially because you realize it."


	19. Settled in for Life

The rest of Izzie's pregnancy went by peacefully. She had loved the house that Mark and Addison had recommended and the pair was now living together, having settled in comfortably. She had insisted upon doing things jointly, but the fact existed that Mark made more than she did. In any case, he was happy to spoil her.

In some ways, the pregnancy had been harder for him than it had for her. She had spent most of her time in bed, which didn't cease in driving her crazy, while he had juggled work, moving, and caring for her. But, the wait was going to end soon. Very soon.

He sat in a chair in the waiting room, his head in his hands. A more nerve-wracking time was unimaginable. He wished he could do something for her, to make all of the fear and nervousness she was experiencing simply vanish away. But he couldn't… he couldn't even be near her at this momentous time.

He saw a presence move by him to take the adjacent chair and soon felt a comforting hand upon his arm. He raised his head to meet Derek's weary eyes. The other man smiled kindly at him.

"Today's the big day, huh?

Sloan let out a long sigh as he sat back in his chair. "Yeah. With Izzie's condition, she needs a C-section and Addison decided that it should be today."

"She'll be fine," Derek said reassuringly. "They both will."

Mark nodded in response. "I know that. I really believe it. I just…"

He trailed off with a groan and Shepherd looked over at him curiously. "What?"

"What if I can't do it, Derek? What if I'm a horrible parent? It's all I've ever known. What if it turns out I can't love them the way I should? That it's impossible for me to be that guy?"

"Woah," Derek said with a chuckle. "Where is all of this coming from?"

Mark glanced over at his amused friend, irritated. "From the fact that my girlfriend, for lack of a better word, is having my baby!" He dragged a hand down his face distraughtly. "Oh God, Derek, I have a kid."

This only entertained Shepherd more, but he suppressed his humor on his friend's behalf. "Yeah, you do. It's a little late for worries, though."

"Doesn't mean I can't be apprehensive. I have a right, you know," he told the other man with a pointed glare.

Derek's expression turned serious. "You don't have any reason to worry, Mark."

Sloan looked over at him, his surprise evident. "You don't think so?"

Shepherd shook his head confidently. "No. At any other time in your life, I would have wondered the same things you've just mentioned. But now? You haven't given yourself any reason to worry. You've changed and it's obvious by the fact that you _have_ worries. I know that the last thing you want to do is to fail Izzie or the baby, but… you can't let yourself think that way. Don't think in terms of failure. Just focus on how much you want to succeed. Do it for them, Mark. Be _that_ guy. Do it for yourself.

Mark sat silently in his chair, digesting his friend's words. When he looked up, his eyes were wet with moisture.

"I want to be that guy. I come home and there's the same woman in my bed every night who has been there every night for months now. And instead of pushing her away like I would do to any other woman… all I want to do is keep her there forever."

Shepherd gave him a warm smile. "You _are_ that guy already. Now just keep it up. It's work, but it's worth it."

Mark nodded in acceptance. Hours passed as the two sat side by side in silence.

* * *

Izzie awoke to the sound of a baby's lusty cry.

She opened her eyes to one of the most beautiful sights she'd ever see. Mark Sloan held a tiny baby in his arms, a gentle giant she loved dearly embracing the smallest gift she'd ever been granted.

Upon noticing her awaken, he grinned down at her tenderly. "Hey, Mom. We did good."

She felt tears instantly build in her eyes. Beckoning for the infant with opened arms, she sobbed quietly as he lowered their child down onto her. She cuddled the child close as Mark took the seat next to her bed.

Watching her stare down at their baby with such adoring eyes, he felt his heart pound heavily against his chest. Feigning lightheartedness to mask how truly touched and in awe he was, he grinned mischievously. "This one's going to be a real looker."

Izzie laughed softly. "He's already good with the ladies like his daddy."

Mark winked at her. "And loud like his mom."

She scoffed gently, obviously unruffled by his remark. "What should we name him?"

Mark considered this for a while before commenting, "About that…I have an idea."

* * *

Hours later, the new family was sitting in Izzie's hospital room surrounded by their closest friends. Although it had been hard for her to let go, Izzie allowed each of them the opportunity to hold the baby; she was unable to deny anyone such immense pleasure. Derek, Addison, Meredith, and Preston had all done so willingly, while Christina had politely declined, already worried that Burke might be getting ideas. Even Callie had stopped by to give her best wishes to the pair and to see the newborn.

Mark sat upright against the bed, while Izzie rested against him, holding the baby. They whispered back and forth quietly before Mark cleared his throat, interrupting the muted conversations in the room. "We've decided what to call this handsome fellow."

He paused, drawing everyone's attention. Izzie smiled broadly as he spoke. "Connor Derek Sloan."

A murmur echoed through the room, though no one was more surprised than Derek himself. "Really?"

Mark nodded, looking at his friend candidly. "You've always been there for me, Derek. Even when you shouldn't have been. I only hope I can be as good a friend to you."

Meredith snuck her arms around Derek and squeezed gently as he whispered his thanks. "You are."

Izzie looked between the men proudly, but something else caught her eye. Standing outside of the room looking in was George. She tilted her head, motioning in, but he shook his head and smile kindly. She returned the soft smile and he walked on.

Mark nudged her, causing her to turn her attention back to him. He looked down at her affectionately and tightened the arm around her shoulders. "You know, Izzie, there's one part of our deal we haven't accomplished yet."

She raised an eyebrow curiously. "What are you talking about? Didn't I give you what you want?"

He let out a frown. "Well, kind of. But… not everything."

Her expression turn miserable, her distress obvious. She was happy. Why wasn't he? "What's wrong?"

He kissed the top of her head and used a finger to turn her face his direction. "I don't want to be a bachelor forever. Marry me."

Her eyes brightened in realization and she freed one of her hands to hit his chest. "You're mean."

He caught her hand in his and raised it to his grinning lips. "That's a yes, right? I mean… we had a deal."

* * *

It's a fact that our lives never turn out the way we expect, but that doesn't mean our wishes can't be granted or our prayers answered. They key is to realize when our lives are about to change and to accept the transformations head on. We never know who it will be that will change us… who will turn out to be our downfalls -- and our saviors. However, the only thing stopping us, holding us back from completion, is our fear to open our minds -- and open our hearts.

* * *

_I want to thank every person who has read this story... and especially those who have reviewed. (An extra shout out to Team McStizzie!) Your support is a true inspiration and a much needed boost! THANK YOU! See you at my next fic, I hope! -- Amanda_


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